DISQUS

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs: We are going to blow your mind next week

  • Mike Cane · 1 year ago
    I am shredding the veil of secrecy!
    http://mikecane2008.wordpress.com/2008/01/10/ma...

    And now I'm getting in a cab to the airport with my passport under a new name...
  • lt.extravagant goofy · 1 year ago
    ...with old laptop in the pocket and new vocabulatory or with new equpment as ever the Tom Loner...
  • Mike Cane · 1 year ago
    Whatevah. I've seen your exchanges with the esteemed faddah. You make no sense as usual. Can you haz English? Think not.

    Next!
  • faddah · 1 year ago
    i can haz ibuprofen, aftah readin' him?

    it seems he has received a promotion, however, to lieutenant of the goofy forces. if any one has earned it, it's him.
  • lt.extravagant goofy · 1 year ago
    equal times faddah, im not lieutenant, but company is heavy in a large story onto
  • TennesseeTuxedo · 1 year ago
    I'm pretty sure that extravagant goofy's postings are nothing more than the output of the "dissociated press" command in emacs. I mean, "vocabulatory"? Nice!
  • playitcool · 1 year ago
    He's using what's called a Reference Engine Translation Analogue Realtime Digitizer
  • Typical Internet User · 1 year ago
    iv bn use 1 fr years now they are great
  • Archie_Medes · 1 year ago
    Steve! Loose the Fisher Investment advert that auto-plays when the page opens. At least have the programmer turn off the auto-play and give us the option to listening to the talking head or not. I understand the need for advertising, but when you piss off the visitors with this "Head On" type of stuff they will stop visiting.

    Now are you going to tell us next week that the new Safari filters out tacky web adverts?
  • P · 1 year ago
    "Ad Block Plus"

    What Fisher Investment advert?
  • Archie_Medes · 1 year ago
    Looks like it got swapped out or something. Maybe Steve saw and heard it flew into a rage and then sent Moshe to talk to them.

    As a web ad it wasn't bad except that it auto-played with audio when the page opened. In a quiet room it sounded like Bill Mays selling OxyClean. Almost as bad, and I emphasize almost as bad, as a Flash web site with all sorts of bonks, boinks, clanks every time you move the cursor.

    Okay I am off my soap box now, well for a while anyway.
  • serif · 1 year ago
    May I please go to the bathroom?
  • grandmother's exconsciousness · 1 year ago
    sweat

    We are not stopping on this road trip!
  • Lord Green · 1 year ago
    I do hope this is a gaming mac of some kind. And that they will announce Valve is porting their back catalogue over to OS X.

    I also hope that it looks like a small Mac Pro and costs roughly the same as a Dell XPS 420

    La la la.
  • Blue Lobster · 1 year ago
    I have to break it to you, FSJ, but Amazon already launched the Kindle.
  • Peter · 1 year ago
    Yes, and Nokia already made phones. Your point?
  • Mike Cane · 1 year ago
    The only thing Nokia makes is FAIL.
  • Blue Lobster · 1 year ago
    Kindle was so revolutionary that no product will ever measure up.
  • Nick · 1 year ago
    The iRack, designed to hold all of your Apple products, efficiently?
  • Archie_Medes · 1 year ago
    We already saw the iRack, three models of them, in the "Another Freetard Outrage" photo.
  • lastangelman · 1 year ago
    beat me to it.
    good spotter.
  • CountRob · 1 year ago
    Yeah, this leak is actually somewhat old news. Apple is launching a game console to compete with Nintendo and The Borg. It looks a little bit like the iTV and you can watch movies on it and surf the web, but it will also play games with a Wii style remote.

    but you didn't hear this from me.
  • Mr. PoopyPants · 1 year ago
    Am I the only one who's noticed that when FSJ retires to the seclusion tank, Johnny Poison comes out to play in Vegas? They're one and the same, I reckon.
  • faddah · 1 year ago
    yer like friggin' einstein, sherlock holmes and napoleon dynamite rolled into one. i stand in awe, sir.
  • Mr. PoopyPants · 1 year ago
    You seem the clever type. So tell me. Do you think FSJ enjoys jetting around disguised as Johnny Poison? Or, do you think FSJ simply blacks out Dr. Jeckel fashion and assumes he's been in the tank the whole time.

    Or, could it be that in your haste to reply to EVERY FUCKING POST ON THIS PAGE that perhaps you didn't take the time to read mine before replying?
  • faddah · 1 year ago
    i took the time, but found it pretty much as your title — a buncha poop.
  • Mr. PoopyPants · 1 year ago
    Interesting. This FSJ post suggests otherwise.
  • Mr. PoopyPants · 1 year ago
    Your silence is deafening. Perhaps next time you'll stop yammering on your keyboard long enough to put in a bit of thought. And find the Shift key while you're at it. e. e. cummings was cool & original; You're a fluttering twit with ADD. Ass.
  • Borack · 1 year ago
    After the Gatester's CES star turn, looks like it is back to the drawing board for the keynote.
  • faddah · 1 year ago
    sssuuuuuurrre ... just like slash has to worry about his career because dweeby beastmaster bill can pick up a guitar hero axe with four colored buttons like a playskool™ toy.
  • iCorporate · 1 year ago
    And still no word on Activesync for iPhone.
  • Mike Cane · 1 year ago
    That's called A Good Thing!
  • extravagant goofy · 1 year ago
    i'm advanced to make nonsene
  • faddah · 1 year ago
    ah, fsj, playing coy with us prior to the big coming out party. you sly devil. you know we love you for it.

    so is bike helmet girl there, to bring you the freshest of spring waters and towel you off between rehearsal segments? is bikey crawling in the sensory dep. tank with you during the cool down at night? now that will produce some results.
  • extravagant goofy · 1 year ago
    no clint eastwood inside for special oscar once more.
  • faddah · 1 year ago
    must ... wipe ... image ... from ... MIND ...!!!
  • Bob · 1 year ago
    Hmmm ... with a teaser like that, it can only be that Bill Gates, now that he is ending his reign at Microsoft will be joining Apple.

    Am I right? ;-)
  • lastangelman · 1 year ago
    ding ding ding ding ding

    as what you may ask?
  • The Answer · 1 year ago
    Rumor has it that you are going to have the Beatles open for your Keynote to announce the availibity of there catalog on iTunes. Paul and Ringo will be there of course with Clapton taking George's place like he took George's wife. Big issue was someone for John. Yoko wanted to fill in and screech in his place which, of course, would ruin the day and Paul would have none of anyway. Moshe and a truckload of hallucinogenics were going to handle that though so you could just roll out Julian.

    True?
  • eknirb · 1 year ago
    you're reinventing the InterWebs. Right?
    =bg=
  • scott · 1 year ago
    well my guess must be wrong because I was able to register iDoEverythingBetter.com....maybe this is next years "one more thing" :-)
  • steveballmer · 1 year ago
    There is no way you could possiblly beat Bill's speech from Sunday at CES! Bill talked about the future! You know the future, that thing both the real and the fake Jobs don't have! lol

    http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
  • Robert · 1 year ago
    Checked out your "blog" fake uncle fester...Not too good. Not even spectacularly bad. Just bad.
  • lastangelman · 1 year ago
    to bad fake paul allen is taking over your job.
  • crazystoner newsjunkie · 1 year ago
    dude tell me you're gonna buy vivendi or something with all that cash yer sitting on.
  • Jon · 1 year ago
    You've finally got off your arse and release iTunes for Linux
  • vaporland · 1 year ago
    OSX Server for all Intel hardware