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http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2009/06/new-york-times-is-friggin-pathetic.html -
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I missed this so much! You are such an good writer and put the dot's to the i's, if you know what I mean.
Great story again, let them have it FSJ! Don't U 4get UR nasty language. :-)
A big, big welcome back!
Marcel
twitter.com/emorockstar
Say, "YEAH YEAH!"
Say, "YEAH YEAH YEAH!"
Damn FSJ - SO good to have you back my man... BUT - FSJ 1.0 would never have said "motherfriggers."
Not bitchin' - just sayin'.
Namaste, my man - I cherish the place where your words, and my 17" MacBook Pro become one.
We missed you man, now I finally have something interesting to read while I'm at work
Think of it: the Borg are all set to out-Vista Vista by charging gazillions for Vista Service Pack 3 (aka Windows 7), Apple is ready to create a new product cagetory with iTablet (or whatever they're going to call it), Palm is getting in Dear Leader's face with Pre syncing to iTunes, so of course there's going to be blood, and that's just the start of it.
Who else can cover this but FSJ? Newsweek has you by the short curly ones as respectable mainstream journalist Dan, but as FSJ you can tell Mr. Meacham to shove his reinvented piece of trash and keep right on going.
But you already left. You signed off. And you know what, it was time to end the FSJ thing. Especially in light of RSJ's illness.
Obviously, your blog as Dan Lyons is not working out. So you're going back to the cash cow - Steve Jobs. Everyone knows if your real blog was a big hit, you would never come back here.
So why do it? Why not make YOUR blog the best it can be? You obviously get some good scoops. Why not throw caution to the wind and risk offending Newsweek or whoever by having a balls-out, no holds barred gossip/hard news/fun blog by Dan Lyons?
Crawling back to this blog, so you can make money off a man who is struggling with a serious illness - is that how you want to be remembered?
Because that's how you WILL be remembered.
As a satire fan, I read these new posts and go "ugh." You're better than this. And when I mean better, I mean that on a human level and on a "writerly" level.
I don't want to insult you, but it makes me feel like you must be a small man to come back to this. That you feel any time in the limelight is better than no time - even it means putting a funny face on someone else's misfortune.
But I don't think that's true. I think the pressures of your new job (and not being anonymous) make you as RDL feel hamstrung. So you're going back to the well. But the well is dry, Dan.
Don't trap yourself. If you restart this blog, people will assume RDL was a failure - and by coming back here, you are admitting as much. And then, how long could you keep this charade up? A year? 2 years? 5 years? Come on now...
Do you think anyone wants to read about a guy "bench pressing twice his body weight" when we all know what he looked like several months ago? We don't. That's why there are so few comments.
When RSJ returns in front of the camera, we will all be ecstatic, including you. We all know you like the guy - and you ribbed him - but the time for that is past. This guy (RSJ) is hoping to return to some semblance of a normal life. Let him.
And be the best you can be, and that means take what made this blog great and stop hiding behind the FSJ mask. I'm guessing FSJ was the real, unfiltered you. I mean, if it wasn't, then who the heck was it? You made that up out of whole cloth.
Why not honor the guy by KEEPING this blog, but write as YOU. And tell us the real story as to why you invented the FSJ mask.
Commit to getting more scoops, and start reporting rumors here. Heck, why not? Report more on the Microsoft/Oracle/Apple axis - the Bing vs. Google war, all this other stuff - and if it has to be a straight opinion column, do it!
And go off on flights of fancy, where you just make stuff up. Let us in on your twisted fantasies about what Sergey or Ballmer is up to. No one said you had to keep the FSJ mask to do that. Be yourself.
RDL is the neutered you - would you agree? I'm really curious about that.
You're the guy at the cocktail party who mingles with the guests, but has something biting (but always truthful) things to say about them.
We loved that.
But the way you ribbed Jobs, it was obvious that you liked the guy. And you know what, RSJ was (and still is) kicking everyone's butts and we loved hearing him angry and conceited and smug. We love that and it's fun to imagine that. He's had to put up with a guy who stole his idea and became the richest man on the planet. RSJ was entitled to blow off some steam.
YOU said the things that we imagined Steve believed. I imagine that he got an occasional chuckle out of your blog.
And that was the secret behind the whole thing. It was an offhand tribute to a legend that poked fun at him and any other celeb of your choosing. But there was a humanity behind this whole thing. You never let it get too mean.
We loved that.
Bring it all back to this forum. Gussy it up with some graphics, more pictures, and take the focus off of you and put it back on Silicon Valley and the business/celeb/tech nexus where it belongs (and always was, even with FSJ).
Sorry about the long post - hope you read it and I hope you do those things. Your target audience probably agrees. It's simply what I'm looking for in a blog. We're pulling for you man. Don't sell yourself short now.
And Godspeed Steve Jobs. We're pulling for you, friend. And we miss ya!
jez sayin'.
"We loved that".
Dick.
Left out "get" between didn't and anything.
Glad to have you back. Great blog.
I'm reading this over and over.
Add RATM at eleven as soundrack.
I bow to you from afar.
His face dropped as he whispered remorsely, "Sold Dell computers with Vista."
"You have my sympathy, Skippy."
You. my friend, seem to have an unlimited amount of "Get Out Jail Free Cards" in the mortality department. Fine. You'll suffer instead.
For my own amusement, your pain,I find it comical - YES, I AM A BEING OF CRUEL OMNISCIENCE ... EVER READ THE OLD TESTAMENT? NOT NICE AT ALL!
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
kick some mutha-lovin' ny times @ss, fsj! kick it, marinate it, then kick it again!!
Slightly OT: Did SJ extend the AppleCare on that liver?
Try fucking remarkable!
does it scroll like butter? or
feels snappier? or
like giving a glass of water to someone in hell?
Sachin