-
Website
http://www.fakesteve.net/ -
Original page
http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2008/01/re-violent-blue-controversy-you-just-do.html -
Subscribe
All Comments -
Community
-
Top Commenters
-
Fake Steve Jobs Conscience
67 comments · 9 points
-
playitcool
159 comments · 9 points
-
Thomas Ross (aka AppleTom)
184 comments · 3 points
-
Archie_Medes
190 comments · 4 points
-
jason
60 comments · 8 points
-
-
Popular Threads
-
The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : Operation Chokehold
1 week ago · 123 comments
-
The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : Is Operation Chokehold illegal? Or just stupid? Should we do something else?
6 days ago · 85 comments
-
The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : A not-so-brief chat with Randall Stephenson of AT&T
1 week ago · 157 comments
-
The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : How soon until O.C. begins? Where is everyone?
4 days ago · 47 comments
-
The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : AT&T: Chokehold is “irresponsible and pointless”
1 week ago · 77 comments
-
The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : Operation Chokehold
Is serious breach of security perimeter, Imitation Jobs. Where is Moshe? Snipers, they do not have clear shot? Are they lulled to sleep by song of Randy Newman?
"Deep black bruise" is also distressing. Please have full medical examination, check for micropuncture, radiation, evidence of toxins. Is old trick, Imitation Jobs. One days someone touches arm, next day is small bruise, next day arm falls off. Also, be vigilant of psychological changes. We know of American CIA nanovirus technology. One day you are normal, next day you have sudden urge to vote for Ron Paul.
When you come to Russia I will teach you moves from my book on Russian martial art. Certain wrist grab, lock of wrist, small twist which can cause exquisite pains. Is also possible to take pen or pencil of peoples seeking autograph, feign writing of signatures, then shove pencil into socket of eye, carotid arteries, etc. Very few dare to violate space after such a "signature," Imitation Jobs.
Yeah, I want the FVP blog.
These people don't understand. It was not about her being rude, it was all about how offensive she is from a pure design perspective. Everything about that bird screams Atlantic City, and you know we want Milan.
I'm with ya, mate. I'll whip up another proto on the ipod cube and you'll feel better in hours.
so violet blue got your message and blogs about it in her blog.
you really crushed her man. what's next? hot, angry grudge sex? make sure we see photos up on flickr. you dawg, you. BHG will be sooooo jealous.
Heads need to roll on this.
FSJ just deck one of them for me and I WILL then buy the most seemingly irresponsible and market denying thing you've ever done since you started pleasing Wall Street a few years ago, the freakishly esoteric Air. I'm betting that you will take a perverse, yet so in character joy, when this thing loses a ton of money, and yet creates a tech foundation for future products that blow the lid off the portable market.
And complaints about lack of new products... come on...after the past few years of innovation that you guys have had, I think you deserve a break.
It gives me such a good feeling when someone touches me when speaking to me, its just a nice human connection feeling. What is wrong with you? Do you realize that you italicized the word touched as though you we're really assaulted? Your reaction reminds me of many people with whom I've come in to contact over the years. They (you?) are full of self hatred so they have to make sure that the least little percieved offense is met with swiftly, efficiently, and with emotional detachment. Are you trying to prove that you are not human, like above human? It seems that you are less than human. If you're seriously thinking of suing, if that even really occured to you, you're reacting like a bully, but a bully who used to be routinely beaten up by the other bullies. Did making a lot of money give you this new 'bully' status in your own mind and now its pay back time? Do you find yourself taking any opportunity to hurt another person's feeings because your's have been hurt so many times. Maybe rejected by girls, or too scared to even try with girls so that you never even got rejected, except in your own mind? We're you serious when you said the following " You don't just walk up to me when I'm standing in some public place and just speak to me. Everyone knows that." ? That is RIDICULOUS. Why is it not okay with you that people come up to you and speak to you? You said in a public place, where else would a person be able to do that, in a private place?
I hope this helps because I think you are really basically afraid of people and you really don't need to be afraid of people, its all in your mind.
Can I touch you with this baseball bat? What? I have to TALK to you first? Forget it!
And what is this taunting tone in your message? Garrison Keillor, who considers himself a shy person, would not approve of your holier-than-thou attitude. We have too many aggressive people in our society; we need more people to show a little respect.
If you want to talk to Steve Jobs, have your people get with his people and set up a meeting.
Is the "So you might as well just kick them in the nuts and stomp on their heads and move on. video available for rental on iTunes yet? Hell. I'd even fork over the extra couple of bucks for the HD version!
What's a 'sex educator' doing at macworld anyway?
Isn't there personal vibrators that you can hook up to your iPod?
Bastards.
http://jayman720.blogspot.com
I emailed Violet Blue several times about a new product and she blew off my emails. My new name for her is Violent Poo.
Please give your fotoreporter some support.
Better luck next year!
You should have told her to fuck of ulgytard.
THIS_IS_A_SATIRICAL_BLOG. It is not written by Steve Jobs. It has nothing to do with Apple. The posting is a fictional reaction meant to parody Steve Jobs. You are making yourself look like complete ass.
Crap on a crutch. SF is supposed to be one of the smartest cities in the country...
And yes that vid site is SLOOOOOO. That is no satirical exaggeration. I was just grateful that I didn't click on her blog link while at work. Yikes!
warmest regards,
— the fsj commentard union, local #814
warmest regards - I honour the place where your mouth meets the toilet
yah, sewer — here's my IP for you: 127.0.0.b.l.o.w.m.e
got it?
Scoble Twitter Update: I has no manly bit!
doh
the two are not the same? Chinese whispers in effect.
Scoble too while we're at it.
I'd find it rude too if I was cut in upon when talking to someone by a person who touched me and had a friend recording the whole event.
This is an outrage, why wasn't she tasered like all the others? Weren't there signs saying "do NOT touch Steve" mounted on all the doors?
Maybe shes one of those people Uncle Steve mentioned who don't read anymore.
Having the "touch thing"...
http://i92.photobucket.com/albums
/l26/halfwildhalfchild/ThreeOClockHigh2.jpg
(Universal, Three O'Clock High)
1/ This is VIOLET BLUE. NOT VIOLENT.
2/ She lightly touched your arm and you're gonna ...sue her ?
3/ She lightly touched your arm and you admit it.
"Worse yet, this woman touched me. She admits as much, saying she "lightly touched" my arm."
But
"I gave a police report in San Francisco last night and had photographs taken of the incredibly deep black bruise on my arm. "
So you say she touched your arm and then you had a deep black bruise on your arm... ? Because...she touched you ? You are lying to the police because some woman, somewhere, touched your arm ?
I'm sorry, but really, what the hell ? Are you insane or something ?
Not a barn-burner, but it was polite for the moment I thought.
On a positive note; I do have some constructive criticism for you. You need to work on some social skills. You could have dealt with it in a much more dignified manner. Your not a king so if you mix with the unwashed masses, you can expect to be bumped into from time to time.
Chelaram
IIT JEE
AIEEE
I would like to say that "lightly touching" someone, to brings ones attention to, or to warn someone of danger, is HARDLY assault. Legally, it could be, if you had a shady lawyer and were OCD. However, it is considered socially and morally acceptable, under those two conditions. No need to think your better then anyone and go crazy over someone who enjoys Apple and its creator.
Secondly....
Standing on a show floor, pawning off your product, and you DONT expect someone to talk to you? WOW! Thats amazing. Thats like walking into a car dealer and the seller to expect you to just pick something out, without asking questions. You are one of the most famous people on the planet, and yes, it might get to your head, but seriously, how vain and egocentric can you be to think that you SHOULDNT interact with the people who MADE YOUR COMPANY WHAT IT IS. I know that killed me liking Apple products. From being a Mac Boy to now thinking Vista and Microsoft is the way. Id rather NEVER meet Bill Gates then to meet a mean Steve Jobs. Im disappointed, as I would think you were a humble man that interacted with his customers.
Third....
I think that if she really DID assault you then you have every right to be upset. I think letting her know it was rude was right. However, I might suggest that you post the police report, and possibly these pictures. If the media is out to get you and make you look bad, why not back up what you say and clear your name with those who believe in your products and beliefs. You would be seriously amazed how word of mouth is the #1 selling point in th world. I know it worked for iPod, iMac, and the iPhone.
And lastly...
I am not TRYING to attack Apple or Steve, I just think that listening to both sides of the story, you BOTH are in the wrong. My way is not the right way, but its another way to deal with it. I seriously hope that you consider actually talking to this Violet and maybe seeing what her issue was. I think she should do the same for you as well. In the end, you both are two grown people in the world, why use companies to hide behind to bring litigation that need not be, and is costly to both parties. Negative press is certainly more costly then a mediation.
Hope the best for both of you, good luck to you both, and from a now former Mac Boy, I am pleased to see and hear the new products you have created for the Apple Community to enjoy.
Roger Alford
" cosloy anonymous —2 days ago with 3 points
Sweet jumping jesus on a pogo stick. Listen real, real close here:
THIS_IS_A_SATIRICAL_BLOG. It is not written by Steve Jobs. It has nothing to do with Apple. The posting is a fictional reaction meant to parody Steve Jobs."
This is a Forbes.com site, written by a Fake Steve Jobs.
Fake Steve, please don't put the disclaimers back on.
As Steve Jobs was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman, named Violet Blue, was there who had been subject to twelve years of Blue Screens of Death on her computer, but no one could heal her of her computer troubles. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his black mock turtleneck, and immediately her troublesome computer was transformed into an iMac running OS X Leopard.
"Who touched me?" Steve Jobs asked.
When they all denied it, Katie said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."
But Steve Jobs said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me."
Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed of her computer problems. Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
1. That video looks like it was taken with a cheap cell phone and saved out at the lowest res possible. It almost makes YouTube stuff look good. I am sure that there are bandwidth concerns, but they could bump up the quality a notch.
2. We don't what if what Violet says it is true blue. Is there any footage of the actual incident, any credible witnesses?
-Brine
Hate to play hyper-technical lawyer here, but from what you said it was a battery, not an assault. A battery is any harmful or offensive contact. An assault is a responsible apprehension of a harmful or offensive contact. So, if I take a swing at you and miss, it is an assault, but not a battery. If I swing at you and hit, it is an assault (the swinging at you) and battery (actually making contact). If I hit you when you're not looking, it is a battery, but not an assault (you didn't see it coming; therefore, there was no "apprehension" that it was coming). From the facts you gave, it sounds like the last example.
Of course, only an uptight asshole like you would consider a light tap on the arm by a member of the opposite sex to be an "offensive contact"--but that's another story.
That would actually be battery, not assault. You might want to get some legal people who know the legal difference between the two.
Also, I thought I saw her walking around on Monday past my company's both. She looked shorter in person.
I quote-"Don't tase me Bro!" ,'Don't tase me!"
You should know true classic techies are known for their congeniality. Right.
Proof:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/violetblue/2103177...
1. She touched you without permission.
2. She tried to get you to recognize her existence.
3. She tried to capture your likeness with a camera.
3a. with her.
4. She complained about you to Scoble.
5. She says that Woz is nicer.
Great "job" Fake Steve, you pulled off another one.
and HORRID customer support (customer Care)...
And yes this is a hoax for more pity points to be Shed on Violet Blue
so more people will read her blogs and what not. this is the Final impact
of the one-two punch... unless Steve Actually does take the bait...
then hilarity will ensue... Stay Tuned... or just move on and forget this happened...
-Brine
Steven Jobs properly upset about Mac's stock price. This guy, people call him Terror. He is anything but friendly. Now he want to suit Blue to shut her up. I am a Chinese even our gov do it subtlety
One final note, I have mix feeling about Apple's strategy. Nowadays business can go it alone, Alliances is a way to go. While everyone Sony, Microsoft and others were making deals at CES, CEOs face to face talking, Jobs sit at home and wait for his one man show to start. Wonder why he don't have the support of the movie and music studios?
One final final notes, about Macbook air, this notebook is in a class of it own. It so good looking(gimmick) but so unpractical. Sony should not even brother with it. The future of notebook is light weight, performance, functionalities and battery life. I think Sony OLED is the way to go
You did the right thing, Steve.
You don't spit into the wind
You don't touch Steve on the arm
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
(Apologies to the late, great Jim Croce)
I think you have to leave out 'Spit into the wind' and substitute 'You dont touch Stevie Jobs arm,'
etc.
Anyway, Steve should have had her thrown out - she's a cheap publicity hound.
You have to touch Steve Ballmer to get it.
It's very confusing with them having the Steve in their names but you have to memorize this! You try to cure some cancer but you end up getting more cancers by touching Ballmer!
And what's with this whole "point" system anyway here?
with many comments he is something like a "bestseller" in the book-industry.
reputation is question of witch side someones does look a object, at least end individual prestige.
probably the blogholder wish to have individual fun with his blog, or come to idea to change the word term for "blog"...
If you have eyes on the top of your head, do you also feel when the sky is falling. I started wearing mine on my forehead instead. My version of bifocals. mind's eye or some kind of people powered philosophy
maybe that's because you have less hair on the top of your head. Your way, the nose pieces don't make deeper fake worry lines over the real worry lines on the forehead.