DISQUS

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs: Let's all take a deep breath and get some perspective

  • vladimir_putin · 5 months ago
    I am glad with all excitement and hyperbole over announcement of Google, Imitation Jobs gives us calm, rational analysis.

    I am also knowing personally developer of "Chrome OS" as it is being made in Google office on Balchug st. Moscow. They are hiring intern who is changing wallpaper of something called "Ubuntu" to read "CHROME OS."

    I too am not understanding business model of "loss leader" which is not leading. But then Russia is preferring to sell tangible items, oil, gas, airplane, spacecraft and such for high profit. Perhaps we leave business model of zero profit to the West. Is clear from state of economy, America has many interesting ideas to offer world.
  • Steve · 5 months ago
    Pootie, I am so glad to see you again. I've missed you. Honestly. More than you will ever know. Have you seen Fake Chomsky? If so, please ask him to come back too.
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    Steve,

    I now your ill, but stop blogging about Google giving away industry secrets.

    I just unload into Google, a few hundred "bright PHD engineers" that our Vista executive, brain fart, hired.

    Transfered over a few dozen "bright business people" to run Windows 7 instead so please do not give Sergy, the Russian Prince, any ideas.
  • Scott McNealy · 5 months ago
    Not fair Bill,

    Computer science PHDs? We are hiring!

    We coined "The Network is The Computer" back in 80s!

    We need some PHDs to work on fractal asymetric chaotic kentic magnetic semantic computing!

    We are calling it FACK-MS.
  • Al Gore · 5 months ago
    Scott, actually I invented the Network Operating System.
  • ManBearPig · 5 months ago
    He did, I saw it.
  • Jerry Garcia · 5 months ago
    PHDs. Wow, we used take these back in the 60s with our electric cool-aid.
  • Andy Grove · 5 months ago
    Don't worry Bill,

    We just need to transfer some money from Google "investors" up to Portland to cushion the down turn, unlike you we do have a lot of recurring costs.

    Will make it up to once Vlad and HU get on-line with the capitalism thing.
  • richardmnixon · 5 months ago
    Yeah, capitalism like making web apps run so slow that you need to buy a new Intel CPU just to play "Mob Wars" on Facebook.
  • Donald Knuth · 5 months ago
    Steve,

    I am sorry. It was me the destroyed the minds of those a Sun and now Google.

    I cannot stand to see the horrible legacy of Ph.D electronic slide ruler tards that I have created.

    Farewell Dear World.
  • FakeNoamChomsky · 5 months ago
    Sorry, I've been rather busy trying to sort things out in Honduras. I'll be with you shortly.
  • Dead Ronnie R. · 5 months ago
    Loss leader. It's how we won the cold war. Star Wars? It's the original vaporware. Do we need to profit from it? Nope. Does it even need to work? Nope. Did it deep-six the old guard at the Kremlin? Yes.
  • solof3 · 5 months ago
    http://www.iamned.com for the good articles
  • Eric · 5 months ago
    In Russia, operating system upgrade you! I wonder how long Russian mafia will continue to be worse than Google.
  • Larry · 5 months ago
    ahm,
    what? Brin is russian.
  • Bing Ladeng · 5 months ago
    you're right Larry, you're right.
  • faddah · 5 months ago
    putz!! how i love ya, you irascible ol' ruskie scallywag, you! methinks when obama spoke to tens of thousands in your country last week, you really got an idea of how "loss leader" feels — everyone loved barry so much, they were at a loss for remembering who their leader was. ba-da-BING!
  • lance lee · 5 months ago
    this is the so dame funny that i will need to send it to everyone i know...welcome back fake steve...this post is just classic.
  • Hu Jintao · 5 months ago
    Vlad,

    This will help Russia and China replace all those free versions of Windows we stole and did not pay for with free versions of Google Chrome OS.

    We can then stop worrying about Gates spying on us.
  • Hu Jintao · 5 months ago
    Vlad, one more thing!

    With Google Chrome cloud computing it will be much easier for Russian and Chinese friends to steal US government stock market manipulation trading programs as they will already be posted in the "Wave".
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    Vlad / Hu, long time no see!

    Do not blame me! President Bush Sr. made to put in the spying codes otherwise he was going to send my son to Gitmo prision.

    I regret it very much, very sorry, but if either of you switch to Chrome OS and do not pay up soon for all the copies of Windows you stole then I may need to active the nuclear codes.
  • Barry O. · 5 months ago
    Bill,

    Thank you for the check but I ask you not to contact Vlad nor Hu as I have worked hard to extend my unclenched fist.

    We have also the nuclear codes into Google Search - why do you think every search for "water' in Russia turns up 1,000 ads for different types of Vodka.
  • Sarah Failin · 5 months ago
    Barry? You bitch! Been a searchin' for you, God will soon expose you!

    What is this Chrome thingy? I just added some chrome lifters to my pickup to get me over the melting permafrost this summer.
  • Karl Rove · 5 months ago
    Sarah,

    Report to headquarters immediately for de-programming.

    You cannot hide, we've been on your trail for 3-days.
  • Matt Drudge · 5 months ago
    Mr Rove,

    We've not yet recieved the Haliburton shares as promised during the last campaign.

    Your friend,
    Matt
  • Kim Jong Ill · 5 months ago
    Matt,

    When do I get front page like promise? I need more publicity to scare Western pig to give more thing! Hurry, pretty soon it affect my cash flow!
  • iPodTard · 5 months ago
    Honey .. lets go for some crome fishing ..
  • Michael Jackson · 5 months ago
    Google is a Montessori preschool?... Sha'mon, chicka-hee-hee!

    Too soon?
  • Andy · 5 months ago
    You are dead dude...
  • 18Rabbit · 5 months ago
    Boom, roasted!
  • Toph · 5 months ago
    Fake Steve, thank you for coming back. RIP Real Dan, Long Live Fake Steve.
  • Joe · 5 months ago
    Greatness. Thank you FSJ. Thank you. Tear.
  • evan · 5 months ago
    I was with you right up to the end with the lung dildo.
  • adam · 5 months ago
    Chrome sucks? since when. I have tried firefox, netscape aol etc and they really dont cut it when it comes to versatility.

    In fact every person who has told me that the internet is slow i have said try chrome and not one of them (not techies at all) have had problems in 1. finding it 2. installing it 3. using it and every single one has told me that it is that much better than their old web browser.

    Have you tried the incognito window yet? great for visiting sites that you aren't sure about as it holds everything within the window and doesn't allow background installs so virus ridden sites are now a thing of the past for me. Only download's need to be scanned now and I'm glad for that no more need to have your anti virus chugging at everything.

    Then theres the comprehensive history and easy tab restore functions, instant memory usage info (type in about:memory), Download history, easy bookmarking (single click then hit ok), draggable tabs (you can drag from one window to another or even detach them)

    and before someone goes google employee im not, I just wish some people (noting the blogger) would give free ware a bit of a chance. I see the net as a place to get almost any information for nothing, like encyclopedias etc. Surely the net wasn't designed for the richer people.

    I have tried 7 (Windows 7) and noted that it runs on my 6 yr old laptop whereas Vista wont so I have given it a thumbs up for the first time since I got a new OS in 2002 (XP). Now chrome have plans I may wait to upgrade even longer just to see what its like.
  • Anon · 5 months ago
    +1 to please get a Twitter account, it's Occam's Egg really. Oh, and it's called the Anus EEEWPC.
  • Stan · 5 months ago
    haha. POS. Priceless.
  • Linus Torvalds · 5 months ago
    "Linus Tordalv." Indeed.

    My name is Linus Torvalds. I invented the Linux kernel. Maybe you should use spell-check, Steve. Have you heard of it?
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    Don't complain. Be happy he got your home town of Denmark right.
  • Blake Ross · 5 months ago
    That's because your last name is not in Firefox's spell check dictionary, unlike common words like gate or job.
  • louis · 5 months ago
    Tordalv was the joke...as was the country, 'Denmark'. Torvalds isn't Danish.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    Are we talking about the same city in East Germany?
  • Paul · 5 months ago
    I always thought it was a suburb of Portugal.
  • Stephen L · 5 months ago
    "Correct me if I'm wrong -- and I'm sure you fucking freetards will find something to correct -- but I think Linus Tordalv started working on Linux back in 1991"

    Maybe you should read the above sentence again. Take your time.
  • Stevie · 5 months ago
    I know life is difficult for the Freetards, but were you actually able to find anything to correct? Actually?
  • Sean Connery · 5 months ago
    "As DeNiro said, They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. That's the Chicago way."

    You've got that wrong, laddie. It was my line, not his.
  • hanskainz · 5 months ago
    You will kick Eric Schmid out of the board? http://friendfeed.com/appleroom/8aedae3d/how-lo...
  • Real SJ · 5 months ago
    Facepalm moment: Chrome is Safari, you've failed me FSJ.
  • anonymouse · 5 months ago
    whoosh
  • FlameBaiter · 5 months ago
    Lame flame bait article in many ways! U r totally correct in stating that it will take years to build out functionality ala Linux and Windblows, HOWEVER this is not the same undertaking.

    GoogleOS isn't going to re-create the wheel with regard to applications, they will leverage the best of breed internet services with their core services (i.e. gmail, voice, wave).

    Furthermore they are building an OS like MS did originally with MS-DOS, that's to say on-top of another OS. In Google case this is Linux, a seasoned OS w/20 years of development as you've already noted.

    Perhaps it wont replace your native OS, but it doesn't have to in a dual bootable world, hell you don't even need to dual boot in this case to jump from their environment to Linux.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    "GoogleOS isn't going to re-create the wheel with regard to applications, they will leverage the best of breed internet services with their core services"

    That's a good way to implement employee synergy and achieve success metrics with skill redeployment best practices.
  • solof3 · 5 months ago
    Also, don't fall for that green shoots BS cause they ain't real. No recovery.

    this co called 'recovery' is artifical

    hat tip to: http://www.iamned.com for the good articles
  • Doc · 5 months ago
    This second coming of FSJ is awesome- you da bomb bro! I don'ts needs no google OS but I do love Google Earth (hey I can see my house from there!- and MAYBE Sarah can even see Russia from there... ;-)
  • solof3 · 5 months ago
    http://www.iamned.com for the good articles
  • Seamaster · 5 months ago
    Genius. Absolute crying-with-laughter genius.

    Welcome back Fakesteve. How did we ever get by without you?
  • Ed · 5 months ago
    Yeah, Google creates a Linux GUI, maybe it'll have built-in support for Google Gears, yawn. I wish them luck mobilizing the open source geeks to fix it for them in this economy.

    My MSI Wind is running 10.5.7 (hooked up to a 1920x1200 pixel display thru the VGA port at the moment) much more smoothly than it ran XP with which it shipped. Almost makes me want to pay for an extra retail copy of Leopard.

    But Steve, we all know you will dominate netbooks by reinventing them shortly.
  • Hu Jintao · 5 months ago
    I plan to replace all corporate desktops with Google Chrome.

    I like the idea of moving all of our business data onto Google Servers and having all out employees work in the cloud all day long watching mortgage and viagra ads.
  • Kretschmer · 5 months ago
    Dennis Thompson and Lionel Ritchie? OMG! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Ritchie
  • Ken Jackson · 5 months ago
    He meant Lionel Ritchie -- father of fine ass Nicole. And think about what group Lionel Ritchie used to lead -- the Commodores. That's right. Comes back full circle.
  • Chieff · 5 months ago
    I think he meant Emma Thompson and Lionel Hampton.

    Before I get too confused, it's probably a reference to Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie, who subsequently admitted that it was all a joke:
    http://www.stokely.com/lighter.side/unix.prank....
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    OK, this is going to blow your mind. Nicole is the Amiga of London Sheraton, the infamous heiress. Coincidence? I think not.
  • Geek · 5 months ago
    Is it wrong that I thought this was a comparison with a vintage computer?
  • Rich · 5 months ago
    Now that's the way you blog.

    I'll still give the GoogleOS a try when it comes out, but now I'll feel more guilty about it.
  • anon · 5 months ago
    Sean Connery.

    "They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of their's to the morgue"

    It was Sean Connery in the Untouchables.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    To quote Winston Churchill, "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
  • Pedant · 5 months ago
    Actually, that was Mae West. Said while stutting and flirting. I have real trouble even imagining Churchill saying that.
  • Dead Winston · 5 months ago
    I was contemplating who I was going to have to share a room with at Yalta: Jo or Frankie?
  • Apostrophiend · 5 months ago
    It was indeed Sean Connery, but it was an alternate-universe version who did not misuse the apostrophe.
  • Lorenzo · 5 months ago
    It's gonna be super-simple, it will run Skype, Chrome and a Media Player.
  • David · 5 months ago
    It's usual to see a smart company like Apple completely miss a major consumer hardware move like the netbook, and even sadder seeing its supporters trying to pretend that Apple's goof-up doesn't matter. I guess it didn't matter when DEC missed the personal computer, either.
  • Gene · 5 months ago
    Like, totally! Apple completely missed the two fundamental advances in consumer hardware over the last 30 years: the netbook and the $1 plastic charity wristband (not to mention the swinging "What's your mortgage rate?" banners... oops, that's not hardware).
  • Ken Olsen · 5 months ago
    DEC found the personal computer somewhere over the Rainbow.
  • trashbat · 5 months ago
    Hmm. Let's see, which opportunity would I rather have missed - the iPod, the iPhone, or the Netbook? I think I know.

    The iPod wasn't the first MP3 player, and the iPhone wasn't the first smartphone - by years.

    The rumours of an Apple netbook / UMPC have been around since before netbooks were for sale, and they've openly said they're watching the market - that's not missing, that's waiting for the right moment.

    Take the MacBook battery technology + an OLED screen + a lighter, more efficient OS + whatever ARM/PowerVR stuff all those chip designers they've bought are up to, and I reckon you'd have a category killing machine. The kind that you can sell for more with a nice high margin, just the way Apple likes it, but still way cheaper than a Windows UMPC.
  • Samuel Lavoie · 5 months ago
    wow. just wow. geniously well writting article, lots of inside. hope Microsoft will fell that new OS and ring the bell at Redmond! :)
  • freetardsteve · 5 months ago
    come'on fakesteve, your freetarding off google's blogger...
  • aeon_flux · 5 months ago
    amazing
  • foo · 5 months ago
    Linus is FINNISH
  • keath · 5 months ago
    That's overstating things. I think they still have a chance.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    Nonsense, Linus has a great future ahead of him. It's that other guy whose wife disappeared that is in deep doo doo. What was that guy's name? I keep thinking Han Solo. He married a Pollack chick before moving into a mobile home.
  • Fake Silent Bob · 5 months ago
    Reiser.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    I don't even know her.
  • Brian · 5 months ago
    Nonsense. He has arms and legs, like the rest of us.
  • Ken Olsen · 5 months ago
    Interesting; I've never heard this before. Is this equivalent to Gloss, Semi-gloss, Eggshell, Matte, or Flat?
  • Hugh · 5 months ago
    That's true, I heard he was Finnish before he started.
  • richardmnixon · 5 months ago
    And the press needs another history lesson. Netscape and Sun tried to do exactly the same thing fifteen years ago: create a new "OS" consisting of the browser and Java that would render Windows and MacOS obsolete. Everyone would be using web apps on low-cost NCs (network computers, the netbooks of the era).

    The Java project at Sun was run by a guy named Eric Schmidt. Not sure what ever happened to him, but Java completely failed as a client-side platform and now legions of Google programmers and others are writing web apps using hideous kludges like Javascript and AJAX. Everyone (including Apple) is trying to speed up Javascript because it's dog slow, and HTML 5 is trying to provide some real graphics capabilities. None of this would be necessary if Sun and Schmidt hadn't fucked up Java in the first place, and we'd be fifteen years into network-centric applications ("cloud computing") instead of three years.

    Android uses Java for its application platform, but it had to be largely reinvented to run semi-right on a phone: they use a new object code and virtual machine design, and reinvented a lot of the frameworks.

    The chaos at Google that FSJ hilariously makes fun of is Schmidt's fault too. Why does anyone take this guy seriously?
  • faddah · 5 months ago
    dick! yanno, that's a lot of 21st century techno-babble fer a guy who died in '94. you were signed on to compuserve back then, right? on a 9600 baud telephone jack modem? so do they stoke the fires of hell with books from addison wesley & o'reilly? is that how you came up to speed on all this stuff?

    anyway, to make me believe this, you gotz to through in some stories about john poindexter and alexander haig. and how you never trusted that cheney kid, hanging out with rummy in the back rooms. that's the dick we all know in love!
  • Jim Cramer · 5 months ago
    bbbbut Google stock is at $404
  • Al Gore · 5 months ago
    Hey Dicky,

    Thought we locked you up for good. I in fact invented the network operating system.
  • Saint Fnordius · 5 months ago
    USD 404?

    No wonder I couldn't find it in my portfolio.
  • Florian Mäder · 5 months ago
    "We welcome competition"
    Hahaha... Is that why you're looking up the iPhone?

    And I'm not talking about the baseband. Rather the iTunes sync algorithm which has been cracked on iPhoneOS 1.x
  • cubiczee · 5 months ago
    funny stuff, but the original ending was WAY better. why did you tone it down?! lame
  • janella · 5 months ago
    I don't know anyone, family or friends who aren't hardcore into tech, who use a netbook. They mainly use laptops, desktops or their smartphones. If the Chrome OS doesn't expand beyond netbooks, then I don't see it catching fire for some time.
  • FlameBaiter · 5 months ago
    In some ways this is EXACTLY why it makes sense for Google to start at the low-end. Why is Windows so dominant over linux after all these years, because it's the quasi "standard" OS. Non-tech folks appreciate the fact that they can trust that those around them can support them and answer their Windows.

    This is google's sneaky way to get that demographic to change and garner Google additional Mindshare with the general public.

    Only Google is attacking gaining acceptance from the ground up rather than the top down...beginning with free services and APIs and building toward wide adoption and eventually an OS.
  • Richard Simmons · 5 months ago
    But I don't want my OS to catch fire. Burning laptop is not pleasant.
  • Bruno · 5 months ago
    Vaat, I use de Natbook each day to review my buttocks photos that I post to de FaceBook page.
  • Thom · 5 months ago
    It was Connery.
  • nerdus maximus · 5 months ago
    humbly I submit, it was Sean Connery in the untouchables that coined the "send one of their's to morgue..."phrase, the nerd said.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    You must be new here. Or as they say in Kuala Lumpur, "Faber est suae quisque fortunae."
  • Frigtard · 5 months ago
    Steve, you've got to start a Twitter account!
  • mark · 5 months ago
    Linux has been around since about 1986. The Red Hat iteration started in about 1991 with Torvalds. He didn't invent linux, itself.
  • cubiczee · 5 months ago
    you realize this isn't supposed to be a factually accurate blog, right?
  • pedant · 5 months ago
    That's okay. He wasn't factually accurate. It's actually quite impressive. Everything Mark said is absolutely wrong. 3 for 3. Nice batting, Dude!
  • factChecker · 5 months ago
    dude, the gnu project has been around since the mid 80s. Linux was started in 91. Check out revolution os the movie to get your facts straight!
  • Arthur · 5 months ago
    I use Chrome! In fact, I'm reading this in Chrome! Btw, Fake Steve Blogspot is owned by Google ya know! lol still a very funny post =)
  • Larry Page · 5 months ago
    FSJ, you wanna come over and play Legos? We promise Squirrel Boy won't be around. We don't let him in the playroom.
  • hi · 5 months ago
    THAT SHIT WAS FUNNY YO!
  • GoogleChromeOSBETA · 5 months ago
    I laugh at comments that Google Chrome OS will "KILL" Microsoft. But I definitely would try it but personally I think it would be just like another Linux OS.
  • Mike · 5 months ago
    I remember not so very long ago when I used to use www.multimaps.co.uk - who the fuck needed another mapping website?; before that when I used AltaVista - who the fuck needed another search engine? Hotmail (etc) - who the fuck needs another webmail service?
    You get the picture.
    I think it's easy to criticise in the early days - like you say: these things take time. If you don't like it don't use it. If you're still not using it in ten years time (and no-one else is either), you can sit back, feel smug and vindicated.
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing...nice post..home run dude.
  • notagain · 5 months ago
    Thankyou for speaking the truth. The reality is that Google has zero chance of producing a real OS with all the bells, whistles and cherries that people only notice if they're absent. The media and children simply don't grasp the scale of what is involved.

    At this point I'm not sure if Google are genuinely stupid, because there is plenty of evidence of that, or they are simply playing a strategic game. Perhaps they feel they need to fire back at MS because of Bing? Perhaps they're concerned about the potential of new technologies to rise and suck away their user base, such as flash or silverlight (both of which deserve to die). Perhaps it's a weak attempt to put deflationary pressure on OS prices and suck away revenue from rivals? In any case, I can't see it working no matter their objectives.

    Oh, and yeah. Google is the LAST company in the world I'd trust with my data.
  • deathbychichi · 5 months ago
    The Chrome OS is just Linux booting up straight to a web browser. Google ain't building an OS.

    It might get some traction but, yeah, they're not gonna make any money off it. They are gonna get a lot of press, though.
  • Not Me · 5 months ago
    Google doesn't write desktop software to make money. They write desktop software to drive people to use the internet more - which is where they make there money.

    Notice how Google stopped caring about chrome whenever every other major browser beefed up their JS and became more multi-threaded? They didn't build it because they wanted to make a browser, they were just pissed that there weren't any good browsers out there and wanted guide everyone in the right direction.
  • Beel Z. Bub · 5 months ago
    Oh, c'mon. You can't seriously believe that Google's actions are based on some kind of grand philanthropy aimed at improving browser technology, do you? That's idiotic. Google wants to own the pipe connecting your computer to the Internet. They want to be the exclusive place you search for stuff, they want to mine your data, and they want to reinvent the browsing paradigm so that neither Microsoft nor Apple nor Mozilla nor Opera nor anyone else can catch up to them. It has nothing to do with philanthropy.
  • Not Me · 5 months ago
    There seems to be a strong correlation between your anger and your wrongness. Cheers.
  • Anon · 5 months ago
    Google Chrome POS? Im sorry but Apple beat them to it with POS-X Snow Leoturd.
  • solof3 · 5 months ago
    Also, don't fall for that green shoots BS cause they ain't real. No recovery.

    this co called 'recovery' is artifical

    hat tip to: http://www.iamned.com for the good articles
  • shawnpetriw · 5 months ago
    Great stuff. I've subscribed again. Welcome back FSJ!
  • lastangelman · 5 months ago
    Isn't all this shit kind of not relevant?
    It's going to be who controls the eyeballs and the cash those eyeballs spew. Whether Chrome soars or crashes, it's about improving internet experience for user and milking that experience for however much cash it's worth.


    And Google knows that ...
    Chrome has always been about yanking everybody's chain ... do better or we'll take over. Laughable, but then why is it a nervous laugh with a couple of sweat streams down the side of of a lotta' balding heads? Google isn't even competing with Apple, in fact my friend at the FTC wants to have a word about the closeness of the two companies, so may be there should be some distance now, you think?
  • JamesWest · 5 months ago
    Free Operating System from Google that will help you surf the net better and do all your other Google things better ... Google will sell more advertising to companies to get paid for making this operating system and putting it out there for free ... more advertising on the Interwebs means slowing it down as it becomes overloaded with useless information ... Thanks Google just what the world wants more ads on the Net.
  • Bob Taylor · 5 months ago
    Hilarious stuff dude, and so spot on. Isn't it grand how funny the truth can be?
  • John C Abell · 5 months ago
    Yeah, but, it wasn't DeNiro. It was Sean Connery.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    You need to check out idmb.com. It was Robert Deniro in "The Unstoppables".
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    Just because I know you're lazy, I went to youtube and found the clip of Deniro saying that line in The Unstoppables.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijcOfaIcO90

    Here's a longer version, giving the context for the quote:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCeApX94dsU

    HTH
  • chris · 5 months ago
    OK, danny boy I am almost forgiving you for the dribble you post under your on name. You are still a twit though.
  • Billy Gates · 5 months ago
    I had heard this site was funny. I was fooled.
  • Schmidto · 5 months ago
    Greatest hits, without a doubt
  • thejobseeker · 5 months ago
    Ha.ha.. simple, clean and plain reasoning. A pleasant post to read.
    PS: Where did you get that "Namaste" from? It even funnier. Keep up.
  • Simon Sagala-mulindwa · 5 months ago
    Good reading but you need to tone down your language. Not all of us have lost our mannerism! Anyhow what's wrong with creating more competition even if it's never going to work? it keeps those in the race working harder to keep on top of others. The beneficiaries are the users who will keep getting improved products and services. the rest you can leave to history to judge. Time is the best judge. As Frank Lloyd Wright said, "The truth is more important than the Facts." Thanks for the exposure.
  • Bill · 5 months ago
    Great stuff - except it was not De Niro who talked about the Chicago Way. It was Sean Connery.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    This is getting tiresome. You need to check idmb before you and all the other correctospazzes spout nonsense.

    It WAS William Deniro in the move The Unstoppables. Directed by Manfred Mann, based on the true story of Mike Ness. Sean Connery couldn't have been in it because he was already dead by the time the movie was made.
  • Zo · 5 months ago
    Point Five is where the genius is. Montessori, Google, saying No, HTF with yr, engineers ...

    DL/FSJ, you rock again. Brilliant. Only wish a few of the fact-tard comments might be, like, cut. We already know: Many don't get it.

    Fuck em if they can't identify a joke.
  • Erik Sundelof · 5 months ago
    Well maybe we should get the facts about the creator of Linux right at least. Linus Torvalds is born in Helsinki, Finland. Scandinavia but another country. :-)
  • Anon · 5 months ago
    Thanks, Erik. Internet equilibrium is now restored.
  • faddah · 5 months ago
    every time i read one of these commentards/correctards, who never get the joke, and make an even bigger joke out of themselves, i think of this.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    The problem is they haven't allowed childlike wonder to be restored to their lives, so the nearest facsimile to joy they can experience is being pedantic.

    Pedantards.
  • Larry Kudlow · 5 months ago
    They're Republicans, and we love 'em.
  • Gene · 5 months ago
    Finland always wanted to be in Scandinavia but those cool kids never quite wanted to play and share the toys... In protest, Linus moved to Denmark and invented vitamin C, then C++, the kernel of which is still pure C of course. Brings up back to Apple, which, not being a major source of C, had to objectify it.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    I never understood why Linus would move to the capital of East Germany. Was it for the canals?
  • Beel Z. Bub · 5 months ago
    Erik, congratulations. You are officially a clueless douche. FSJ's abuse of meaningless facts is intended to tweak people like you who get obsessed over the dumb shit that doesn't matter...
  • Stevie · 5 months ago
    Actually, Erik, since Helsinki is GNU, and thus open-source, it can "technically" be considered as being part of Denmark, so the statement is "technically" correct.

    IANAL, however, so I may be wrong about the copyright laws of the EU/emacs.
  • Larry Ellison · 5 months ago
    Brother, you comin' up to Sun Valley? I'm here to tell ya- it's amazing. Barry Diller is smashed beyond belief- a case of Diadema Diamante will do that. Freston from Viacom and Jeff Bewkes are insane, and last time I saw Bezos, he was dancing on a table wearing nothing but a Kindle. Who knew?

    Anyhoo, Erin Burnett from CNBC is comin' over later and we're gonna- well, let's just say she might be late for work tomorrow morning. Fire up the JobsJet and get your ass up here!
  • aawindoze2 · 5 months ago
    Wow, that looks like fun! Wow

    RT
    www.anonymize.tk
  • Mel · 5 months ago
    I remember when Novell had around 70% of the network server market. That was before their CEO, Ray Noorda, decided to destroy Microsoft by purchasing WordPerfect, AppWare, and parts of Borland. They also invested in Linux.

    Do they ever sell NetWare anymore? Does anyone care if Novell still exists?

    Microsoft is not invulnerable. Doing a half-baked version of what they do isn't going to un-invulnerable-ize them. :-)
  • Beel Z. Bub · 5 months ago
    Unlike Novell, though, Microsoft has no illusions about what its primary cash cows are, and it continues to plow the bulk of its development budget into these businesses
  • Joseph Smith · 5 months ago
    We use Novell NetWare extensively in the Chruch
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    I remember when IBM had 100% market share in both software and hardware...

    ...right before I droped out of school and FACKED THOSE ENGINEER Ph.D students IN THIER ASS!
  • Robert McDaniels · 5 months ago
    "As DeNiro said, They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. That's the Chicago way." That was Sean Connery's character, Malone, in The Untouchables - not DeNiro. Maybe the Chrome based OS will have a widget that let's you check your quotes ;-)
  • faddah · 5 months ago
    congratz, commentard. you've fallen for fsj's oldest schtick in the book, and by posting that bloviating i'm-so-full-of-my-correcting-self comment, you made it clear this blog and it's denizens are back and here to stay.
  • HvdK · 5 months ago
    I had so many laughs reading this. Thank you!
    It is a brilliant piece...
  • faddah · 5 months ago
    well, i dunno, fakey steve-o. chrome is based on, errr ... what technology? {koff! WebKit! koff} you might have no one to blame but yerself for lettin' ol' squirrel boy on the board.

    then again, if apple is getting any kickbacks from da google for using WebKit, or a percentage kickback on the ad revenue generated, well then i say, more power to 'em, fakey steve-o. go with throttle fully up!

    by the way —>> "Frankly, if the entire netbook market caught fire, I wouldn't piss on it to put it out. But that's just me."

    ...and —>> "Is there anyone who knows how to criticize anything in that fucked up little Montessori preschool of yours?"

    oh my freakin' god, i pissed myself, fearless leader, when i read that one. hilarious and classic. but i expect no less from you.

    also, an interesting take on all this "free"-culture you mention in point 8, somewhat like what you said, but with a bit more of a positive spin on how google makes it all work in their favor, from chris anderson of wired, who also wrote "the long tail," (and no, that's not a night with andrea jung promising "me love you long time!"), in his new book, "free" on this internet culture of giving everything away for free and how it still makes 'em loads of dough rei me$$$. good interview with him about it on terry gross's fresh air.

    pause now while woz chimes in about terry gross and andrea jung, saying, "i'd hit it." tsk. so predictable.
  • Bob · 5 months ago
    The clown act fits you well, Daniel.

    I look forward to you admitting again you were "snowed" or whichever euphemism you'll pick for "My prejudice prevents me from having a clue".
  • anonontheashram · 5 months ago
    the vitriol is so strong and filled with correctudines in this post., FSJ, that it made the fresh goat's milk curdle in the pail, and that's no way to make yogurt, trust me.
    Excellent post and I'm glad to see you finally "release the hounds!"
    Google is more than the New Borg. they could well be the new Anti Christ as well. there appears to be enough confusion at Goog to keep a regiment of mental health professionals working overtime for the next 20 yeqrs. Of course by the time they ship Chrome, the market will have oxidized and they won't be able to see a path to clear water.
    but thanks for clearing up the role of Eric and Al Gore on the board.
    the lentels, yogurt and a clean pallet as well as new home spun await your renewal here at the Ashram.

    Anon
  • Marshall · 5 months ago
    I nearly wept I was laughing so hard at this article Fake Steve.

    Thank you for all you do.

    Z
  • Don · 5 months ago
    I'm sure this nit will be buried way way down in this comment train but I rarely catch these things and this one just popped right out at me.

    "He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue" -Sean Connery in The Untouchables.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    You need to cut down on your THC intake, Don.

    It was Billy Deniro in The Unstoppables.

    Don't believe me, check this link:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijcOfaIcO90
  • Ben Hammond · 5 months ago
    You seem about as extreme and logical as Michael More or Michael Savage... which means preaching to the choir, because most people will not listen to this stuff if they don't already agree.
  • faddah · 5 months ago
    one more thought — you know what i can't wait to see amongst the freetards? when google tries to lock down the OS, all microsoft (tiny, flaccid)-like and say only the chrome browser runs on it, no firefox, opera, safari, and certainly HELLZ-to-the-NO on IE. let's see them get all open source high and mighty then. hawr!
  • 1onedujw · 5 months ago
    hum
  • windows4life · 5 months ago
    steve, go fuck an apple...
  • darklord · 5 months ago
    They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. That's the Chicago way -> Sean connery said this, not de niro
  • 1onedujw · 5 months ago
    My favorite part the when he mentioned Lionel Richie.

    this shit is funny: http://iamned.com/blog/?p=463
    http://iamned.com/blog/?page_id=604
    the blog isn't updated, but it's funny as hell regarding the economic crisis.
  • WizardCM · 5 months ago
    You say nobody uses chrome? I COULD GIVE YOU A WHOLE LIST OF PEOPLE THAT USE CHROME! EVEN ME!

    I'd recommend you read my blog Post on "The Greatness of Chrome"
    right here: http://wizardcm.winpulse.net/blog/posts/the-gre...
  • guest · 5 months ago
    Wow! Really? A Whole List?

    Man that's impressive.
  • Mike · 5 months ago
    DeNiro didn't say "they send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue." That was Sean Connery, asshole.
  • Marcos El Malo · 5 months ago
    No, Sean Connery's Asshole was in Desperate Living, singing "Bird is the Word".
  • FSJ aka FSJ · 5 months ago
    Lionel Ritchie hahahahahahaha

    welcome back FSJ
  • Jared · 5 months ago
    That was an EPIC post!
  • Eric Schmidt · 5 months ago
    Wait till we rename it as GooorgeOS, it will be more beautiful than Mac!
  • steveballmer · 5 months ago
    This is soooooo D@^^^^ Sad!
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    Hu / Vlad, long time no see!

    President GW Bush Sr. made me add in the Windows spying code or else he was going to send my only son to Gitmo.

    I regret it very much but if either of you switch to Chrome OS then I will activate the nuclear codes.
  • Marvin · 5 months ago
    I'm really not too excited about this Google OS. I mean for me it's all about the programs I can run on my OS ... so I doubt all of my programs will work with the big G's new OS any time soon... so then I don't really see the point.

    BUT.. I do think fake steve missed out on one good point of the Google OS for Google - they can set Google.com as the default search engine and Chrome as the default browser, this could help them get more search traffic in the battle against Microsoft who I think gets a lot of their search traffic from being the default in Internet Explorer.

    Also, this was very amusing.
  • Arnan · 5 months ago
    One thing everyone seems to forget is network availability. I don't think any country has 100 or even 50% of proper coverage on 3G or wifi or similar. Thus the whole netbook idea with an internet enabled os like chrome failed already ...
  • jeqal · 5 months ago
    I think if the ball was chrome it would make more sense.
  • Dave · 5 months ago
    The post kicks ass, you tell them Dear Leader!

    The comments, on the other hand, make my eyes bleed - we need more lions in the pit to remind the unwashed masses of their place.
  • chrome_os · 5 months ago
    I think your piece is quite off base... I've written a rebuttal to each one of your points in my blog post here: http://www.chrome-os-blog.com/fake-steve-jobs-o...
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    Hey ChromeTard,

    Go start a business and learn how business works. Sorry you wasted all that money at engineering school, now get back to coding.

    Here is how Google's bright PH.d Students designed the logo:

    http://www.yeeeeee.com/2008/10/30/how-google-de...
  • Sonya · 5 months ago
    The last out was awesome. So was the well stated, well numbered argument and by a slow reading you can see that the logic is strong. Sure, Google is probably at the starting point and may not have a very strong marketing strategy by aiming at NetBooks - but well the fact is there is competition - however frail it looks, and who knows how the software shapes up tomorrow. Let's wait and see!
  • thehokumculture · 5 months ago
    Resistance is futile. hahaha good points.
  • Jean-Christophe Helary · 5 months ago
    http://www.google.co.jp/support/jobs/bin/answer...

    Google looking for programmers in Tokyo
  • gamov · 5 months ago
    Hilarious!
    Your convalescence did you wonders!!
    Keep it up!
  • TheMan · 5 months ago
    Well I'd say I agree with much of what you said. You cant build a good OS overnight.

    But I disagree when it comes to chrome. Chrome is a work of Art, its simple and much faster than any other browser, Doesnt have the memory leaks of POS mozilla, and displays everything properly unlike Explorer.

    I guess I just like simple and clean, thats how all design should be.
  • Insight · 5 months ago
    Hehe, you are a complete douche.
  • Bob the Developer · 5 months ago
    I have often been told that I have a malfunctioning sarcasm-detection gland, so could you do me (and maybe some others) the favor of coloring the serious stuff differently (and maybe add a legend as it's not always clear). Apart from that, well said.

    And I use Chrome!
  • Puranjay · 5 months ago
    This is my first time to this blog and man..you are fucking hilarious. And damn smart. The BEST analysis I've seen yet of the whole Chrome OS BS. All the idiots at Techcrunch and Mashable and whatnot are writing multiple posts in a day about some shitty OS they've never even seen a screenshot of.

    Thanks for keeping it real.
  • Cristian · 5 months ago
    "Who in their right mind thinks the world needs yet another desktop operating system?"

    Exactly. But Chrome OS is not a desktop operating system :) Mostly everything will happen in the cloud.
  • GP · 5 months ago
    How much trust can you put in "the cloud"? All it takes is a gust of wind... :)
  • ScoobyDoo · 5 months ago
    well, repeating "chrome is shit" "free models don't work" "netbooks are nothing", you really don't seem to have a vision, do you? Chrome is at 6% marketshare before its 1st year, netbooks grew to what they are in less than 2 years, Android is on the rise (almost every brand going heavy on Windows Mobile upto now have already announced their upcoming Android models) etc. etc. World doesn't need a new desktop OS as they said before, and Chrome OS won't surely be one as we know it. "Web OSs like W7.."? webOS? W7? WTF steve, what's the predominant web service in its area MS has to offer, that will integrate seamlessly with its OS? Android is a platform to access Google's services, just as Chrome OS will be. In case you forgot, Google is the #1 webservice provider, and any move that will facilitate people's access to its services will make them make more $... MS? well, Redmond guys were already biting their nails with Google Apps invading their hands down #1 territory (with TCO's close to 10% of MS office by the way), now they can start eating their hands, or even arms for all I care.

    Chrome is shit. Chrome OS is shit. 20% dreamtime is shit. Apps and gmail are all shit... Well, I guess you pay all your transactions with shit over there, because all these are just the best fckng monetization model yet on the web, and the web is the future...
  • Mule Gibbon · 5 months ago
    Ever eat an Irish baby? Some parts are edible.
  • sucks · 5 months ago
    Point nine: Your whole column is shit.
    Point ten: Iphone, Apple and Safari are shit.


    Real point? If you have a tiny dick, don't try to talk big; it won't grow anyway. Instead, go buy a BMW or something that'll do the trick, or at least make U feel like U got bigger one..

    For christ's sake, let the guys play; if they fail, let them. I mean, it's not like it's YOUR money they're spending...
  • steve jobs · 5 months ago
    i agree, exept for the BMW, get a mini.. makes you look like someone who doesn't need compensating
  • Hao Shih · 5 months ago
    Mr. Steve Jobs,

    Chrome OS will become quickly official National OS in many national states. It also features Chinese Firewall support (*) and will become official national operating system of Mainland China. But public perception problem is, most of the google os architects work in Taiwan, and PRC leadership would be embarassed to use ROC technology. This is why Taiwanese brand their Express Gate project as Mountainview and the PRC authorities are fine. You know how we played our games on Microsoft with Android. We dropped Android just to use our Google OS.

    Android is a advange attack against your iphone technology of your company but we use our Google OS to combat Microsoft.

    *) Forget US media polemics, Mainland China is advancing the effort and our other governments followed. All governments want security enhanced internet features, in particular for educational users.
  • LXChrome · 5 months ago
    Do you know: What interface and technology is included in the OS? As far as I know LXDE was invented in Taiwan. Are those guys involved?
  • steve jobs · 5 months ago
    dan lyons, you suck...
  • Tom Zag · 5 months ago
    JUST A STUPID DELIVERY OF HATE AND ENVY. NO POINT WHATSOEVER IN ALL THE BLABLA.
  • faddah · 5 months ago
    just an equally stupid delivery by a trog who hasn't learned to release the caps lock. mwah mwah mwah mwah.
  • Shahab · 5 months ago
    lol, funny text to be honest, but had deep meanings ... Anyway I don't think they just woke up talking about it, they are considering doing this from 2 years ago and it seems now they are ready to shoot ...
  • h.aiku · 5 months ago
    o s in the clouds
    coalescing forever
    raining down beta
  • Lars Mortensen · 5 months ago
    Linus Tordalv is NOT danish.
  • Stevie · 5 months ago
    Yes, but Denmark is part of Helsinki so the point was still technically correct.
  • Ken Olsen · 5 months ago
    A new type of croissant, then?
  • Karl · 5 months ago
    shitty article
  • adam · 5 months ago
    yup, no facts
  • al · 5 months ago
    Who cares if Google makes an OS, I'm all for it. The more platforms to develop for (especially it being a Unix-Like platform, means more apps for the common Linux platforms, and more apps for Macintosh OS because more people will see multi-platform programming as more viable. Plus it means another platform I get to learn. I encourage all those (who want to) go out and get educated on all platforms, Windows, Linux, Macintosh, and the Linux based Chrome.
  • OMG · 5 months ago
    HA! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    (whew.)

    ...wait. you...you were serious?

    BWAAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!
  • Stefan · 5 months ago
    Well done, Steve! Brilliant! Best post in months!
    Already a classic!
  • Stick · 5 months ago
    I knew you were clever. But now I believe.
    pure.
    gold.
  • Quinbad · 5 months ago
    Fantastic post. You really dug in and hit a homer with this one. Must be all that extra free time you have working only 3 or 4 days a week. Besides, I'm sure you're just smokescreening about the netbook thing. Some of still think you will walk onto stage with another "and one more thing" announcement with Apple's very own product which will sweep the world of its feet with the power of child like wonder. :) Keep em' comin' man. You're back!
  • Bertrand · 5 months ago
    I'm using chrome :)
  • ft · 5 months ago
    Funny post. Safari was also built by freetards though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WebKit
  • steveballmer · 5 months ago
    LOL
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    Hey Ballmer,

    GET THE FACK OFF THE INTERNET... NOW!

    This year with CRUSH the Google Ph.D Students....AGAIN.

    I even warned them not to hire all the Pd.D clown from SUN.

    They just cannot stop reading Knuth volumes! LOL.
  • lindastrasberg · 5 months ago
    Great article...glad to see you're feeling better. Were you Born2Shop@Cbay? It's still in it's infancy but it's going to get there soon.
  • Remi · 5 months ago
    You made some good points there, but somehow it reads very angy - any reasons why? Anyways, you are definitively wrong about Android, mobile users are desperate for a decent alternative to WinMo and the OEMs are announcing Android devices in throves. To bad you guys still have your floodgates closed, everybody would be using the iPhone OS by now if it was open.
  • Bill Gates · 5 months ago
    All you clowns have is "if" "if" "if" "if" .....

    Been going on since we crushed Novel Netware, then Borland, then IBM, then WordPerfect, then Sun, then Apple, then Sybase, then Oracle, ...

    The business world does NOT give a FACK about OPEN, nor about "IF".
  • John Doe · 5 months ago
    wow you have wasted a lot of time to write this bullsh***

    I stopped reading after: "They've already got Android, and nobody wants it."
  • SSteve · 5 months ago
    "Dennis Thompson and Lionel Ritchie" made me bust out laughing.
  • cwiley · 5 months ago
    Google OS? Will people be able to stand the colors and the faux wood-panel backgrounds?
  • Movie Buff · 5 months ago
    This is all really interesting, but inaccurate. It was Sean Connery who had the quote about the morgue, not DeNiro.
  • BB · 5 months ago
    This is the mindless banter of a thief and liar, and looks eerily reminiscent of Gargamel from the Smurfs.
  • ogman · 5 months ago
    Nice rant, no substance.
  • Thomas · 5 months ago
    It is astonishing how much you can write about something so little is known about. Maybe sometimes you should just wait and see.
  • JamieEi · 5 months ago
    It's astonishing how Google can announce something so little of which exists. Maybe sometimes they should wait and code.
  • Larry Page · 5 months ago
    Chrome OS will be in "beta" next week. We have added a "print" buttome to Chrome and calling it ver# 0.7

    We are desperately trying to copy Micrsoft's business model this time, because at Sun we got crushed.

    Now we are still Ph.D students and have trouble letting our fears go.
  • JamieEi · 5 months ago
    Bwahahahaha that is some funny shit
  • chicago web design · 5 months ago
    Steve, The millions of Apple fanboys have your back. I hope you get well soon.
  • Ph.D. BABA · 5 months ago
    ahahhahaha,
    By tha way,Do you want ourrr IPv12 solution ?
    We giver you special prrice forr you today.
    Jimmy take over,10 4
    Thx nice blog Steve!(w)
  • Yaakov · 5 months ago
    "but I think Linus Tordalv started working on Linux back in 1991 when he was a high school student in his native Denmark"

    Linus Torvalds is a native of Finland, not Denmark.
  • chris mueller · 5 months ago
    you missed Solaris, the most advanced OS in the world.
  • HIRAM WALKER · 5 months ago
    RANT RANT RANT RAVE RAVE RAVE. I GUESS I MUST BE THE ONLY ONE USING CHROME, O, EXCUSE ME, FUCKING USING CHROME
  • Dr. No · 5 months ago
    You use Chrome? Are you homeless? Do you have job?
  • vanni di ponzano · 5 months ago
    i laughed 'til i pissed my pass!!! Fucking A!
  • Mike @ Edentity · 5 months ago
    This is the funniest thing i've read in a while! well done!!
  • jeano · 5 months ago
    Like the article, Mr Fake, but cut the swearing.

    Mostly enjoyable
  • What · 5 months ago
    Deniro never said that quote about "the Chicago way". It was Sean Connery
  • B. Huessien Obama · 5 months ago
    First, Drudge said Google "PLOTS" deathblow to MS. He made no assertions on how this new OS would operate, but if you have been paying any attention at all the last 3 years, you know that Google indeed has plotted a deathblow to MS. It has been their main goal for years.

    Now bow down and worship me for the messiah that I am.
  • da bishop · 5 months ago
    --- bishopdante ---

    Umm, n00btard... chrome is safari wearing a different skin.

    :chrome: [from automotive slang via wargaming] n. Showy features
    added to attract users but contributing little or nothing to
    the power of a system. "The 3D icons in Motif are just chrome,
    but they certainly are *pretty* chrome!" Distinguished from
    {bells and whistles} by the fact that the latter are usually
    added to gratify developers' own desires for featurefulness.
    Often used as a term of contempt.
  • trashbat · 5 months ago
    Nope. They just share some code. Chrome uses a different JavaScript engine from Safari. And a whole set of different libraries underneath Webkit (graphics, networking, etc - Apple ported their own to Safari for Windows, but the source isn't available).

    That's also why there's no Chrome for OS X or Linux yet - it's not just a skin on WebKit, like some alternative OS X browsers.
  • B. Huessien Obama · 5 months ago
    First, Drudge did not make any assertion to what Chrome would do. He said that Google "PLOTS" a deathblow to MS. Anyone paying even a lick of attention the past 3 years knows that this is exactly what Google is thinking. They have been after MS for years.

    Now, bow down and worship me for the Messiah that I am.
  • Anon · 5 months ago
    awesome...felt better that someone feels the same as I do...
  • RM · 5 months ago
    That wasn't De Niro who said that, it was Sean Connery in the Untouchables...
  • tr · 5 months ago
    Hilarious with a bang of reality! Nice work. I found this insightful and yes, understandably, cynical.
  • Uniquester · 5 months ago
    Yeah. Like you never went away. Bang on! It was so well written it made me want to delete my Gmail account NOW and buy MobileMe, if it wasn't so damn expensive that is.
  • Custador · 5 months ago
    "As DeNiro said, They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. That's the Chicago way."

    Sean Connery said that in The Untouchables, not DeNiro.

    Anyway: Anybody who didn't figure out that Google are frickin' evil as soon as they started bundling the "Sooopah dooopah fwee Google Toolbar" with every single piece of bloody software that it's possible to download.... Well, they're stoopid. Google are phucks every bit as evil as Micro$haft.
  • ed · 5 months ago
    I do agree with a lot of whats said here, I would just like to point out, that the Google OS is going to be based of a the Linux platform. Yes, building an OS is hard, but its a lot easier when all the "hard" stuff is already done for you.
  • Linus Torvalds · 5 months ago
    I am Finn no Danish
  • Curtis Cooley · 5 months ago
    Hey, Maddox, (http://maddox.xmission.com/) I had no idea you moonlighted at Steve Jobs. almost as funny as your original website. Keep up the good work. Laughed my ass off :)
  • Blake Williams · 5 months ago
    Good reading overall. Lame ending paragraph, though.
  • Woz · 5 months ago
    Heh, Namaste Eric. Namaste hard.
  • anonymous · 5 months ago
    As ( Sean Connery, not Deniro ) said, "They send one of yours
    to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue".
  • FakeDavid · 5 months ago
    For a day I'm prone to hyperbole. Greatest blog ever.
  • Manoj · 5 months ago
    LMAO
  • Julia Spencer · 5 months ago
    You should sell this whole Fake Steve Jobs to SNL (or just this post as a skit). This is probably the funniest thing I've read in a long long time. You had me at Freetards.
  • Anthony · 5 months ago
    At a value of 200,000 grand per employee I think Google can get things done... remind me how people use what google has to offer compared to mac/apple...?? yea i think google knows what they are doing and will put out in the end.
  • Ivy · 5 months ago
    Actually, I use Chrome. It's a lot faster than Firefox, IE and even Safari. :)
  • Stallman, yeh, that one · 5 months ago
    You idiots. I INVENTED free software. It should all be free! If you love software you must set it free.
  • Anonym · 5 months ago
    Nice, but just so sad that the whole post point is 0 because the knowledge (actually the missing) of the operating systems is non-existing. Android, Chrome OS are both using Linux OS. They are not new OS's. All the media is jumping around with wrong conclusions about OS's and they fail totally, just like you. Nice try if just the basic even would be correct. So no laugh from this.
  • YouAre Wrong · 5 months ago
    The back end is Linux. The front end is proprietary.
  • Vineet Dwivedi · 5 months ago
    Android is not even one third of iPhone or Windows Mobile. Chrome is not even 2% of browser market. Google should not think that people will use every shit coming out of Google ('s toilet).
  • Daniel · 5 months ago
    very good article.
  • Ronin · 5 months ago
    Except it wasn't DeNiro who said that, it was Sean Connery.
  • Taranfx · 5 months ago
  • John Lee · 5 months ago
    Loved it. Made me LOL.
  • Kanye West · 5 months ago
    Great post.
    I like Chrome, Safari, Mozilla, IE, Google, Microsoft, Apple.

    But more than all that shit I like my talent, my creation, my superb-ness.
    So just buy my new album - there will be BRAND NEW KANYE OS on it, I promise!
  • erat · 5 months ago
    It was actually Connery that said "...they send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. That's the Chicago way." BFD, right? The point's still valid.

    Nice havin' you back, FSJ.
  • bigangryblkguy · 5 months ago
    You are a comedy God.
  • jayarjo · 5 months ago
    Funny. But probably Chrome OS will still become widespread.
  • sebastianjr · 5 months ago
    What are you guys worrying about, all you are talking is google competing microsoft, but google has choosen its market niche- Internet users, while microsoft has normal desktop users.
  • clayhebert · 5 months ago
    My favorite line...

    Point three: They're aiming this OS (or as we call it, "POS")
  • Vincent · 5 months ago
    Maybe you could add some more numbers to a lot of your sayings.
    Nobody wants Android? A few large phone producers and laptop builders want it and implement it.
    Build an OS around Chrome?
    It just a matter of picking the proper Linux distro or extending Android.
    As Steve Jobs wannabe, you must know about the succes of the iPhone and the continuing market share Apple gains on the desktop?
    IPhone OS is OS X 10.4.11, and it works like a charm.
    Compare this to the that upperly crippled M$ implementation. Their OS is the worst in the world on usibility, security and compatibility. But their mobile OS is probably the most ugly, ill performing unstable,piece of windoze Me modified code.

    So I think Google with their name, might be able to push Linux more to the desktop.
    And oh my, I hope they do!
  • Mike W · 5 months ago
    >but I think Linus Tordalv started working on Linux back in 1991 >when he was a high school student in his native Denmark.

    Linus Torvalds and his native Finland.

    Good points otherwise but this screw-up could have been avoided with a Wikipedia lookup.
  • Steve W. · 5 months ago
    Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery Sean Connery

    get it?
  • shaunmark · 5 months ago
    It's funny to read this while using Chome, I love it... it's fast and never crashes, and every site that before rejected it now works with it, including MSN. I agree that the OS will probably suck though, good read
  • rfjason · 5 months ago
    Seriously, you guys are fucking done professionally.
  • Pishabh Badmaash · 5 months ago
    My bowel movements are free and open to the public
  • Anthony · 5 months ago
    You are a sincere douche,

    Anthony
  • BritishPcRepairs · 5 months ago
    ROTFLMAO! This is the best blog I have read in ages that echoes my sentiments exactly but oh in what a magnificant and better way!

    Kudos!
  • Ashton_Kutcher · 5 months ago
    Will this new OS help me reach more twitter followers? I'm trying to compete with Michael Jackson and this whole death scam he's pulling is pushing him way in the lead.
  • Apostrophiend · 5 months ago
    "magnificant"

    Oh, the pain.
  • BritishPcRepairs · 5 months ago
    Oh wow! You found a post with a typo and highlighted it in such a "witty way".

    That's it, life's purpose solved, you can finally R.I.P. now.
  • nycterent · 5 months ago
    mindgasm.
  • Name · 5 months ago
    Sorry,But I can Feel in your writing that,You are taking Google ChromeOS seriously.

    My Friend I don't know nothing but....
    I know that... if someone sailing same thing by just renaming and putting some little stuff like calculator. like

    in MSW7 just to stay in the market.

    then Chrome OS news is interesting It will accelerate all those who are standing still. not doing new things. But

    now they will.

    Now They will focus on, not only small stuffs but The real thing performance and stability.

    Vista came then 7 came nothing new. But if they don't reduce vista's feature in 7 n provide fast speed then i will say it is a good work. But No

    they are reducing things for performance and actually not increasing the speed.Why they don't able to built a virus free OS.I assume that they are getting more money from updates and by solving virus problems.

    But Now They must have to work.So they can make Virus free OS.They are walking and Now they will Run.
    And it is a Good thing.It is the Beginning.
    Competition Creates New things. It accelerates slow things.

    By Doing So No Bad Guy can take advantage of its shit.

    Good Luck
    Have Fun.

    Good thing always wins.So Don't be Afraid.If you are a Good person.
  • abksharma · 5 months ago
    you know I am using chrome right now...as I read the post...and its the best browser I have used. its smooth as knife on butter.
  • Tkz · 5 months ago
    All I can say is...you're an idiot with all the crap you posted here. Google is doing a great thing and you'll see the results soon enough. I'm sure your were one of the assholes complaining when google search first came out. Well now see where it is you dumbass.
  • paramendra · 5 months ago
  • tigerwoods · 5 months ago
    Interesting!!
  • paramendra · 5 months ago
    Thanks.
  • Steve Ballmer · 5 months ago
    STFU noob, I'm going to fucking kill you™

    By the way Safari lost pwn2own... again. What was unbeatable? Chrome.
  • mike · 5 months ago
    hi
  • UKEngland · 4 months ago
    Hey Shawn Travers I have just seen ur webcast of iis advanced management webcast and hope ur ok u sounded like u were havin a bad day i am glad 2 c ur still around 2 tell the tale chin up r kid
  • savzz · 4 months ago
    You stupid arse..
    This is the freaking fastest browser its not technical and its easy to use... You idiotic blogger... Google is sick! Don't diss... Nobody uses the browser hardly cause every body bums off Mozilla Firefuck... I used to... then it got to a point where it was too slow!