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http://www.fakesteve.net/ -
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http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2008/07/i-am-so-friggin-high-its-not-funny.html -
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- The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : Is Operation Chokehold illegal? Or just stupid? Should we do something else?
- The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : Operation Chokehold
- The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : How soon until O.C. begins? Where is everyone?
- The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : A not-so-brief chat with Randall Stephenson of AT&T
- The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs : AT&T: Chokehold is “irresponsible and pointless”
I honour the place where your celebrity CEO impersonations and my wasting time at work become one.
See you on the next blog.
Namaste, I honor the place where your humor and my annoying laughter became one.
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
Best.
- Barry
Thanks and Happy Trails.
Will miss your smooth and sometimes bumpy drive. Was all fun!
And Namaste!
Good luck with the new endeavors.
It's been a great year for me then, man.
I look forward to getting a free copy of your new book. But to be honest, I still haven't read your first book. It's still sitting on my desk, er, campaign plane. Speaking of which, did you hear about my MD-80? Damn, that's fraked up. At least we weren't diverted too far.
KIT
- Barry
Whatever venture you come up with next, I'm sticking around. In the meantime, there's a community college here looking for a mid-term commencement speaker...
Okay Real Dan, you keep writing and we'll keep reading and we'll buy your books and give them as gifts. Just don't leave without telling us, bokay?
It is all about what you did on company's time (Forbes) and what you can't take with you (to Newsweek).
This can't be happening!
thanks for the clarification. Sad to see FSJ go, but I guess we all knew the character couldn't be around forever.
Good luck in the future. I honor the place where your words and my amusement became one.
You've brightened up many a dismal day at work and cost my company a whole lot of cash in all the time we spent reading you.
Namaste!
I will miss FSJ.
Definitely sorry to see you go, man. This blog was one of the best on the 'Net, hands down. Helped me get through boring workdays more than once. Thanks for the memories!
While I think the last few months were just painful, all the others made them a drop in the bucket. And I watched your video on Google Authors, so I know you're just as hilarious as yourself! All the best in your new work, and I look forward to the next iteration.
And I'll bet you won't miss the carping in the interim!
Sadly, it's no-mas-stay today. Peace.
See you Dan!
Yours,
_Fake Sarkozy
Why?? Why???? WHHHHHYYYYYYYYY??? All day.Just like that.
I am not well. Please fake Steve or real Dan or whoever or whatever you are or will become. DO NOT DIE. WE LOVE YOU. Your friend, Mr. Jerry Yang.
Oh PS: if Forbes is looking for a new writer for this blog, could you pass my name along, bud,pal, and amigo?? Much obliged, obligated, and in obligation to you if you could and/or would.
All the best, and Peace and Love,
Nitrozac and Snaggy
Well, y'all come over to mine and have warm nostalgicky memories of Southern NYC iDay 2007 in 56 photos!
Now all we have to do is await the release of Fake Steve 3G!
Good Night and Good Luck
- Seven of Nine -
I hope everything is alright with you and your family.
After all the new iPhone has few new features, apart from 3G support and the infineon chipset they use is a battery hog, even goatberg panned it for crappy battery life. One year to make this? what were they doing? Sitting in their offices pressing <cmd>-r to refresh the yahoo finance appl page to see how much they lost on their options, whilst whining they didn't sell at $200?
Meanwhile has anyone noticed new Macbooks rarely sleep properly, won't always go to sleep, won't always wake up? Whaddup with quality. Ahhh - we know now... they were all reading FSJ instead of fixing their RADAR's.
Anyway, thanks for all the fish and good luck!
"In the establishment-skewering tradition of Voltaire, Cervantes, Jonathan Swift and Laurence Sterne we now have a voice for our own digital age." -- Newsweek.com
and now they want you to stop?!?! This blog is a gem, don't stop, screw the man! Newsweek now seems very superficial if the praise you and then say you can do it anymore. :(
I'm going to miss you.
I know this post will live a long time.
So, I will say this.
I love apple.
Macfanboy.com forever.
That's the perfect way to end the Blog. Just kinda stumble outta the room, hoping you don't spill your drink like good old Deano.
Cheers and all the best.
Leigh.
you ground-breaking
genius of satire,
you.
namaste, oh
father of twins
who eat cheesy pasta
and stack plates.
namaste, oh
father of funny blog.
namaste,
oh guru
of rich guy gaffe.
the buddha says
life
is suffering.
oh.
oh.
i will miss your words
as they were
and yet i know
their karma
is goodness.
they will come back
as some other words
better words
in some
better place.
i will follow
where
they go.
oh.
much love,
brownie
Thank you FSJ for providing so much laughter, insight and joy to my life for the last couple of years. And all for free!!! I look forward to following the work of Real-Dan regadless of where it takes us in the future.
Namaste & Peace-out.
ILYJ.
元TBS人気女子アナウンサー川田亜子本当に美人でスタイル抜群！
http://gvfhygtu.blogspot.com/
川田亜子といえばなんでもいちいちエロく例えてくれ、楽しませてくれますよね♪
でもあまりに激しくお蔵入りになる事が多いらしい・・・
http://gvfhygtu.blogspot.com/
今回そのお蔵入りになったテレビでは絶対放送されない未公開動画を是非ご覧ください！
- Barry
And now I find the end is here. Well, it was a fun, inane psychosexual sojourn into the heart of la valee silicon and I was happy to be a part of the caravan. I recommend everyone all who feel the five stages of grief to injest a few shrooms to ease your pain and elevate your soul, thus be rejuvenated and renewed for the next re-incarnation of this blog and others to come.
Namaste.
Manamana.
Auf Wiedersehen.
Shalom.
Salaam.
Aloha.
OK, Samoa, Solomon, Marianas, you're mine, all mine.
Rest and relaxation, at last.
PLEASE TELL ME IT IS NOT TRUE! Tell me you are just kidding! PLEASE! PLEASE!
What am I going to do with my empty life now? That's the end! THE END! Oh no!
I am SO happy that my life is not over yet! Long life to Fake Steve.. er, Dan!
You really rocked it hard. All the f*%#ing best to you on your next chapter.
And yes, it's a coherent way to start something else. Don't be the Muhamed Ali of writting by going a few fights too far. I know what i'm talking about...
you frei geister...
"Criminal Probe of Apple Options Is Ended"
p.s. You thank Bike Helmet Girl twice in the dedication.
- Barry
I will be less sad when RSJ leaves Apple (though I don't expect that nearly as soon as you do.)
Not replaceable. Thus I can only mourn.
Not replaceable. Thus I can only mourn.
Remeber the "New Coke" debacle?
This higher state of being for FSJ is a marketing disaster in the waiting. Look how long it has taken you to get the "Newton" i.e., iPhone, back?!
I guess I have no good reading any longer...
Namaste, oh wise master...
insightful and funny at once
Thanks for the reflection
TV1Turtle
love,
Sandy, Israel
jesus, satire and reality make for ambiguous bedfellows. i honor the place where your stupidity and this blog become one.
It's time for iJustine to jump on the grenade and suck FSJ back to life. Take one for the team, girl!
טלי פחימה - שתזכי לגורלם של חברייך
http://www.political-buzz.com/
Come back sooooon.
ShantiOmmmmKarin
Kiira misses you.
Come back soooon.
ShantiOm Kiira
ps i just ordered the soft cover book--I honour the place where my cash and your hilarity become one. Namaste.
What will I do when wearing my FSJ shirt in public?
I can't take this pain any more. This is to much to bear.
Should we VISIT Newsweek or Forbes to make things right? Just say the word and the boys and I will make it happen.
I've made my plans, such as it is. When the electricity is turned back on, and the networks are turned back on, I'll sneak back. Or maybe I'll ride a rocket to AWAY from this place. See the universe. Meet some other life form in fourteen billion years. If there's any universe left. There's always heat death you know. Last star goes out. Boom. Just a cold dark empty void. One rocket. Some electricity. Some software. Then the power dies. Pace et requiem.
Then God raises his right pinkie on the enter key, and starts again.
This blog will remain in hearts of million as one of the most memorable blog of internet history.
Peace :)
And like EVERYONE knows it was Dylan who said "If I don't see you no more..." ;-) ;-)
I had so much fun reading and imagining/visualizing the posts. To some degree, like a reviewer said, this was the mini-Bonfire of Vanities of Silicon Valley.
But life goes on.
Best of luck Dan on your Newsweek column gig. We'll watch out to see if you get 'programmed' like Goatberg. In fact, we'll have to come up with a new nick for you.
Any suggestions?
C'mon.
for the real steve jobs:
We need not always weep and mourn,
let steve jobs go;
and wear those apple chains forlorn,
let steve jobs go.
Welcome back to civilization, pal!
If this guy getting an iPhone doesn't call for FSJ to rant about the uncool kids getting their hands on hip Apple products, I don't know what does. Where arst thou, o Fake One???
baby, don't leave me this way
Ignore all the crap above. Take the good ones. I honor the place where you wrote the best damn blog on the web, no question. Fuck that you have to go, because Best Damn is a serious thing to leave behind.
Whatever. Namaste, peace out 'n' all that crap. Dan, it was the *best.*
Looks like you hijacked the site back from that putz Real Dan.
Why can't you continue on this URL?
In any case, keep up the good work.
Rico
Sad news, but kinda inevitable. Your recent meanderings pointed to the end time for FSJ. Still I hope he'll be born again in the new blog, as I will forever live in denial that the best satire on the web is no more.
Thanks for so many laughs. I'll miss this blog something chronic!
Namaste.
Magical time adventure begins! I'm excited, scared and happy!
Adios amigos, buenos noches,and I recommend two blogs I find infuriatingly intriguing, this and this, I hope the authors don't dry up and disappear, I hate blogs that do that (no offense meant, FSJ).
Im broke
You'd be pretty much missed over here in Belarus.
Yeah, European country close to Spain ;)
And much thanks for all that posts that made my day many times!
Regs, Vad
There can be only ONE!
I admit that FSJ was as worthy a foe as there is in the Fake-Blogsphere, but his prowess obviously fell far below my talents. He (Dan Lie-ons) was smart to get out while he could! He was simply beginning to stink up the entire Internet with his hack style and utterly unimaginative prose!
There can be only ONE!
Believe it or not, I am only getting warmed up!
All serious competition has been eliminated and FSB reigns!
There can be, and is, only ONE!
The adventure is only beginning people!
You leave me nowhere to vent.
Good luck and fuck you!!
- Angry Dwarf
I can't believe it's over! It's been a hell of a ride!
I honor the place where your sarcastic, crude celebrity impersonations and my entertainment become one.
You have truly restored a childlike sense of wonder to MY life.
Peace out, Namaste and all that other gay stuff! Not that I'm gay for you or anything, but the thought has crossed my mind. Hmmm.
Anyhoo, like the guy who was leading the string quartet said in that movie about that ship that sank a while back: "Gentlemen, it has been a pleasure."
Then they played "Nearer My God to Thee" as the ship sank into the icy water and everyone died. What a way to go!
"how can I quit you?"
I don't know if you are still reading this blog or not (you should, you wrote a lot of stuff there) but I think one more post would be in orders. You sold 1 Mil. iPhones, brought servers down and tried to play with the word "push" on MobileMe. You are learning that enterprise integration is not a smoke and flashy plastic game and not saying a word about the learning process?
And what about those rusty palmrests on a Mac, FSJ? How did that happen. Even with daily showers and regular hand washing, the darn things are oxydating. Should I feed my Mac with antioxydants dude? Thought so. Lots of issues FSJ, but your hardware team is stellar. This machine is a-rocking. Now off to non-browsing your blog.
karur
http://scobleizer.com/2008/07/14/iphone-develop...
Black or White?
http://neoviky.blogspot.com/
thanks for the laughs....
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-9995290-1.html
If you can jailbreak an iPhone... it's not a secure device. The answer really is that simple.
Maybe the iPhone 3.0 will be a competitor to the Blackberry... I doubt it, but serious enterprise adoption definitely isnt in the cards for 2.0. In the meantime, the Blackberry is releasing a more powerful (and 3G) version of the iPhone.
So... the question is really if Blackberry will catch up to iPhone faster than iPhone can catch up to Blackberry. My money is on the former, since they have the easier task by far.
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
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That's right. I'm honoring the place where your wit and my lunch became one.
Also, Dan, there's no way to inquire about just hanging out with Dan Lyons. The side only includes speaking engagements :(
STEVE! You're back!
Is this a joke, like the time you had me convinced Apple really was trying to shut you down? If it isn't, life will be a little bit less humorous than it already is. Say it isn't so. In any event, I honor the place where your humor and my ennui became one.
Namaste...
If you quit I'm going to shoot this puppy.
Oh well, thanks for the laughs. I hope your book made you a lot of money, you deserved it.
Btw Goatberg's iPhone 3G review is up:
http://ptech.allthingsd.com/20080708/newer-fast...
:)
Love,
gauge :)
- Barry
from disqus.com [74.86.107.154]
----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----
<gauge@ilovegauge.com>
(reason: 554 delivery error: dd Sorry your message to gaugeforum@yahoo.com cannot be delivered. This account has been disabled or discontinued [#102]. - mta126.mail.re1.yahoo.com)
----- Transcript of session follows -----
... while talking to d.mx.mail.yahoo.com.:
There was a brief period after Dan was outed (for the second time eh Dan? :-) that the magic seemed to leave, but it soon got back to fine form and in some ways even better.
The Andrea Yung slapping thing had me crying at my desk....
Luv XO
AJ
You milked what was original and humorous into a better gig for yourself and came to realize it seems that you are a one trick pony.
If you can't handle adding a second user to a blog you probably shouldn't be on a computer.
Buy, make sure you close the door when you leave I don't want the bugs coming in.
Too good to be true.
What happened ?
Apple is not paying your bills anymore ? :)
P.S.
You were funny at the beginning.
I hope you'll do differently on behalf of your own name.
I hope you grow up a little more for your Newsweek gig. You can still be funny without being childish and mean, just remember that.
Good riddance FSJ. I still remember when you were funny.
The problem, Dan, is that it's easy to assume every angry shmuck who chooses to mouth off represents the views of thousands of angry shmucks who remain silent. Knowing this, the angry shmucks feel their power amplified, and that's part of what fuels their angry shmuckdom. It's kind of like riding waves composed of their own farts.
There is nothing so good, so creative, so funny, so heartfelt that it cannot elicit peels of snotty hatred. Nothing. I promise you. Please don't let the trolls get to you in the least. That's their entire reason for being.
Quit kissing Lyons ass - he only did this to sell a few books.
Lyons was more of a one trick pony than I was.
Look for his book in the "remainders" bin.
Here I am fluffily hanging around and commenting in what I deem the great site of someone I admire. That's slightly loser-ish, but nonetheless non-insane.
He, however, is hanging around and commenting in a site he professes not to like very much.
Really think about how deranged - and how gratuitously destructive - it is.
When I described angry shmucks "riding waves composed of their own farts", this is pretty much what I was talking about.
and this is my fake blog
http://letterbarn.blogspot.com/