DISQUS

justinph · 1 year ago

Maybe Obama should rip off the Get A Mac ads and do a I'm a Democrat and He's John McCain ads.

Talk to him, Steve-o.

Jim H · 1 year ago

So what? Are Valley CEOs as stupid as most others? No, by a hair. But its not the money. It's the Internet. The Obama campaign figured out that it could win the caucuses as flash mobs, and the hell with those big old states where millions came out for a primary. And they also figured out that the bloggers and Huffington hated Hillary as much as Newt Gingrich once had, as much as Rush Limbaugh had, and that keeping the desired perception in the people's faces 24/7 on the Internet was much more effective than the Dean Scream, than the Swift Boat Liars, and even than Maureen Dowd, the self-hating so-called woman.

D · 1 year ago

FS-

You got at least one thing right, Obama will be the next president. Where you err is believing:

1) That we will be out of the middle east.
2) That your money is bigger than wall street or the city's.
3) Gitmo will be converted...not shut down.
4) The Mexico fence will be to keep people in.
5) Your 3 references, in one paragraph, to gay-rights being an important issue underscores how deeply-entrenched the problem is.

What's that Mr. Stock Option back-dater? I suggest Apple allocate some of its $20 billion in cash to civilian defense/military technology. If you were not aware already, the US is an imperialist economy and the fun Apple gadgets are red-herring just like the stem-cell research, evolution education, and gay rights initiatives you proposed as "significant" initiatives. You see, none of that stuff will matter to you when you recognize that the banking/military/energy complex calls the shots.

Your state is bankrupt...open your eyes.

Carl · 1 year ago

My eyes are open, and full of tears.

Pustolio · 1 year ago

D(ipshit) - Gee, I wonder if spending 520 Billion tax dollars in Iraq has anything to do with it?

D · 1 year ago

Actually, you are giving Iraq too much credit...red herring.

From the 2007 Federal Reserve Flow of Funds
For the period 2000-2007
US Public debt has increased $3.7 trillion
US Household Debt has increased over $6.8 trillion

What's that you say? "IRAAAAQ!!!!GAY RIGHTS!!!!PETA!!!!!

America has been hijacked by banking/military/energy complex and you are calling ME a dipshit for bringing it to your attention.?!

Who is the real "dipshit?" Educate yourself and understand the core issues, there is no excuse.

scott crawford · 1 year ago

Damn! About time. Not since Monica has anbody used the words suck and Clinton together in the same sentence to such good effect.

Fake Apple Employee · 1 year ago

Steve, you shouldn't forget that there are two Californias...the ones you talk about here, and the pissed off racist rednecks in Orange county, the central valley and the Sierra/Cascade foothills - you know, the people who hate the immigrants who do the jobs they won't.

Like any conservative stronghold, there are about 30% liberals, but some of the wacko conservatives do use Macs, so it's not all bad.

Fake Your Uncle · 1 year ago

Son, you just don't understand politics. You're not wrong about the rednecks, but here's the thing: the only - ONLY - thing that gives you a voice in politics is money. Make all the noise you want, but if you ain't giving massive campaign contributions prepare to be steamrollered. Historically, the conservatives in this country have been better at organizing and raising money. In fact, they still are. It's just that they're where the Dems were 4, 8 years ago: disgusted with their own party. In contrast, the Dems are energized by this election, horrified at the thought of more Republican abuses of power, and seriously pissed off. And you can think of the Valley as the Jungian Archetype of Democratic ideals.

Bottom line? Anybody who even smells like a conservative will be begging door to door, while Obama and the Dems will continue to get money thrown at them like it's going out of style. Now that Edwards is the presumptive VP as a sop to the fucktards who are afraid of Black/Muslim Obama, there's no stopping the juggernaut.

godsdog · 1 year ago

You know -- someday, the big quake is gonna let er rip. All you Valley dweebs are gonna figure out that your $100,000 BMW's won't clear the rubble. And me and Cletus are gonna cruise right by in my old Ford Truck with the 24" lift and the Stars-N-Bars. And we're gonna be laughin' our asses off. Go eat your dang lettuce. I'm gonna go have a steak.

Fake Native Californian · 1 year ago

The last time a big one hit SF, the power was out. Gridlock was averted when all the major intersections sprouted dapper, trim men with whistles and white gloves who directed traffic. I could not believe it but there they were: just neighborhood guys who were needed.

Back at the apartment the girlfriend and I, the lesbian next door, and the gay guys upstairs mixed cocktails and watched on battery-powered TV as more neighborhood guys dragged firehoses and searched rubble and kept the Marina from being a worse disaster than it was.

By the next morning, people were back at work. There was fixing to be done, but the bay area had improvised its way out of a big mess, by keeping calm and carrying on.

Hang on to that truck Clem, you'll be needing it for cover when New Madrid busts loose and everyone starts shooting each other over looted Dinty Moore. Out here on the coast we'll just gang a half-dozen Priuses with a hacked-together loosely-coupled control system someone used for his model railroads, and move *mountains*.

valley dweeb on a bike · 1 year ago

That truck will be parked as you dip into your pockets to pay for the $4 a gallon gas. There ain't subsidized ethanol blend out here.

After the big one we'll be skating and biking on the deserted and broken streets keeping our solar powered data centers and desalinators running.

Happy bike to work day valley dweebs!

n · 1 year ago

don't come crying to us when some damn tornado or flood or hurricane hits you on the way out

godsdog · 1 year ago

Actually -- I'm kinda partial to Campbell's extra chunky myself -- Dinty Moore tastes like horse meat -- but I hear ya'll about the tornaders and hurricanes

What do ya call a trailer house in East Texas? -- Tornado Bait.

Course I got my MacPro in the cellar where the food shoulda been put -- but ya gotta have priorities...

(Oh yeah -- and my truck is a diesel. Only wannabes drive a gasoline pickup. Course diesel prices suck worse than gas now too)

lastangelman · 1 year ago

Geezus, thanks for riling up the nut bags, you're trying to make Barry the next Bobby Kennedy? I've seen enough Dead Kennedys in my lifetime.

reno · 1 year ago

right on FSJ! And pass the arugula, please ...

RidleyGriff · 1 year ago

There is a beautiful symmetry to the fact that many of us first discovered Obama's campaign through the "Vote Different" ad, isn't there?

-Rz · 1 year ago

Awesome!!!!
-Rz

Tesseract · 1 year ago

Well with the race so close, it really is going to come down to political (and therefor monetary) influences. With John signing onto the Obama train, I don't think there is much in his way to being the democratic nominee over Hillary.

Watch over the next few days the new discussion turn from who will be the nominee to who is going to be Obama's running mate (basically will Hillary get set of keys to the white-house).

topazz · 1 year ago

god, but I love it when you go all tough-guy.

eqbal00 · 1 year ago

Best FSJ post. Evah!
(I'm in Syria for a job right now, it's great to think that things might swing around to the right, uh, left side.)
"And now for the next eight years we're going to be running this country. We're going to give equal rights to gay people, fund stem-cell research, teach evolution, take down the fence on the Mexican border, and make sure abortion stays safe and legal. We're going to pull out of Iraq, shut down Gitmo, and stop torturing people. And yeah. A black dude with a Muslim-sounding name and degrees from Columbia and Harvard is going to be in charge. So sit back down, strap yourself in, and shut the fuck up, crackers."

Fake Apple Employee · 1 year ago

As someone who grew up in LA-06, went to a liberal arts college in New Orleans, moved to the valley in '95 to see Apple through some of it's toughest years...fuck yeah, Dan/Steve. You've got it right.

faker apple employee · 1 year ago

tulane or loyola?

Fake Apple Employee · 1 year ago

Xavier!

I keed, I keed. Somewhere in the general vicinity of 6000 St. Charles Ave.

jim Hensen muppets · 1 year ago

So the O in obama wasn't really an O, rather a zero to represent a place value holder in teaching the youth of our nation about digits and the importance of money and what it could buy.

Obama
Oprah
O'Reilly
O RLY

One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just doesn't belong
One of these things is not like the other
Can you tell me before I finish my song.

Redneck Redstate Cracker · 1 year ago

Speaking of crackers, don't forget to try some Italian Caciocavallo Podolico cheese with the Raw Organic Sprouted Sauerkraut Crackers in either Sea Vegetable or Dill Garlic flavor.

SSteve · 1 year ago

Please be right. Please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE be right!

Fake Apple Employee doesn't know shit about the Sierra Foothills (where I happen to live). Nevada County is turning into Little San Francisco. There's a huge influx of culture, money, and brains. The rednecks are being marginalized.

-SSteve

Westmoreland · 1 year ago

RE: Little San Francisco
You ought to visit Washington, DC.

Fake Bill Gate · 1 year ago

Yeah, you keep thinkin that the nanny-state is the solution to all the world's problems, FSJ. Just pretend the valley didn't get rich by taking advantage of CAPITALISM. We knuckle-draggers will keep polishing our guns while you slurp down your tofu-alfa-sprout-sushi. Nameste, hippie.

Lloyd B. · 1 year ago

Clearly people on Wall Street have more money than people in the valley. You guys have Bill, We have Warrren. You have Dell, we have Soros. And the average salary on the street is way higher than in the valley.

Pascale Soleil · 1 year ago

A-f'n-MEN, brotha Steve!

dfs · 1 year ago

Actually, your humor to the side, I have the general impression that taken by and large the folks in Silicon Valley (and Redmond, too) are aremarkably apolitical bunch.. And politically naive too: in comparison with other industries they aren't big on making donations to candidates or maintaining lobbyists in Washington. They probably suffer a great deal for this.

Pengwen · 1 year ago

Man, what a post. Great job. I almost said "Hell Yeah!" really loudly. I hope Barak does get the top job and start making the USA the country it could and should be.

terry · 1 year ago

i hope you learn to spell his name. :)

Nix · 1 year ago

Dude, normally I find your political tirades a mite tiresome: I mean, we get it, you're all for Barry, message received and understood, bokay? But this? This is a post apart, man. Insight and vitriol? How cool is that. Strong work, my friend.

Now, any chance of a free fake 3G iPhone?

Westmoreland · 1 year ago

I tend to see the Obama Administration as inclusive.
There will be room under the tent for a much broader America, man.

Just practice saying "Obamadministration " until it rolls off the tongue.

Nancy Krabbenhoeft · 1 year ago

yes, we will get arugula, or maybe even more diversity: mesclun, on our burgers and tacos instead of iceberg.

Nancy Krabbenhoeft · 1 year ago

Also: Bring on the oils, vinegars, salts, and sugars. And grills for roasting.

Note to Obama: radicchio is bitter with cause and effect. You'll need it in case you can't sleep at night or if we get into arguments with coffee producing countries, you can use the roots as substitute coffeee.

PutDownThePipe · 1 year ago

George McGovern

Ted Rall (I Mean It, MAN!) · 1 year ago

You are all dipshits, blind bumble bastards, idiot pansy bleach headed flabby techno-farts. We're all going to hell, hand in hand towards the chopper blades singing "glory hallelujah, nearer my god to thee". I'm hiding in the bunker with the family, burn burn burn burn ,the lot of you. AAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!!

Ted Rall (I Mean It, MAN!) · 1 year ago

Oh, and read this, you cum drunk, babblemouthed, unclefuckers!

Carl · 1 year ago

PFFFFFFT.
That's me laughing so hard I let go a techno-fart.
Well said, Ted Rall.
Thanks.

bderwest · 1 year ago

Brav-motherfucking-O, FSJ!

Disq Us · 1 year ago

This is a test of disqus.

Tom Lehrer · 1 year ago

For the record, I am not fooled by any of these moonshine hucksters. I can barely contain the bile and contempt I have for the sins of this administration and past eight Congresses and for the citizens of this country whom allowed this to happen, there are barely appropriate words to articulate this rage. I should be too old to really care about any of this, I should feel cynical and take Mr. George Carlin's view that we're all slowly circling the drain. It annoys me even more that no one really takes responsibility for their actions and the consequences. Everyone in a position to hold our leaders feet to the fire can't be bothered to light the coals and are more than happy to pamper, perfume and put comfy silk slippers on those same feet. It's as if we are all afflicted with a bad case of misperceived and cowardly dreamwalking, we're afraid to wake up and confront reality we've created.

Hillary · 1 year ago

You're serious, right? A one term senator going to the White House? Obama's base is reactionary. Not revolutionary. Take away the color issue and he's about as interesting as John Edwards.

Fake John Galt · 1 year ago

There is an obvious synergy between B-HO and the Valley:

Obama believes in taking other people's money and pissing it away on frivolous social programs.

The Valley believes in taking other people's money and pissing it away on frivolous business ventures.

Sounds like a perfect team to me.

BTW, with the latest CA Supreme Court Gay Marriage decision I hear talk that CA may now be in play for red state status in November due to the Anti-Gay-Marriage constitutional ballot initiative drawing more of those queer-hatin' hicks out to actually vote. Wouldn't that be amusing.

Fake John Galt · 1 year ago

P.S.- For those who forgot, Hillary won CA 52 to 43:
http://primary2008.sos.ca.gov/Returns/pres/dem/...

But I'm sure the Valley's financial support was pivotal in Democratic strongholds such as Idaho, Utah, or Kansas. But what major state(besides his home) did he win again?

GS · 1 year ago

Go Steve! And Go Obama!

Daniel · 1 year ago

I didn't know Steve Jobs was such a potty-mouth.

kaiser · 1 year ago

Yiii Haa!!!!!!

faddah · 1 year ago

have you seen this one by lisa nova, about the hildebeast. hi-larious, especially if you know the "sunset blvd." reference. which means no one under 35 will get it. oh well ...

FBO · 1 year ago

Those midgets were great people. Great crowd.

- Barry

p · 1 year ago

california = not stem cell research
maryland = stem cell research

s to tha L to tha A · 1 year ago

sweet dude

dmwogan · 1 year ago

Word.

Fake Redneck · 1 year ago

Woa, boy, don'tya know ain't no president been e'lected widout the SE buying his jive?

It will be a cold day in hell before the South elects Obama.

neo1767 · 1 year ago

"Shut the fuck up, crackers." Ha! Love it.

lastangelman · 1 year ago

Meanwhile, Georgy-porgy is making me real fucking nervous lately. He's dropping serious hints about having some lasting positive legacy. He's tired of failing. He doesn't want to be known as the president who fucked up royally. Hopefully, he doesn't have somebody in State Department, NSA or the CIA "validate"* a reason to invade or use nuclear weapons in Iran or some other trouble spot, real or imagined. Rest assured, O-I-L will be in the equation.


*invent, make up, lie

Cunt-eyed Eunuch 4 Clinton · 1 year ago

NO!
NEVER!
WE WILL BURN! BURN! BURN!
BURN YOU ALL!
THE PEOPLE ARE INGRATES!
THEY'LL PAY WITH BLOOD!
BASTARDS!

Chris · 1 year ago

1. You are a hack magazine writer. Accept the fact.

2. You are a humorous blogger poking fun at apple and other industry people.

3. You are not a political commentator and f you were you would be on the now bankrupt out of touch air america.

4. You're an American hating leftist.

5. WGAFF about your political beliefs?

fake redneck · 1 year ago

umm... u do? since u r here... reading.. and posting... showing u give a flying fuck.

nicoleish · 1 year ago

you know what's funny? his website used to say that he was against gay marriage. can't find it now.

Jason · 1 year ago

Simply brilliant. I read articles I like to my wife when we're sitting in our office late night and it's even better when said aloud. Nearly brought me to tears.

Cunt-yed Eunuch 4 Clinton · 1 year ago

HA!HA!HA!HA!
We got you now. Barack's people is begging us not to concede before the convention. Wouldn't look good, would tarnish the image ....FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUCCCCKKKKK YYYOUUUUUUU, HYBRID-ASSSED LAWN JOCKEY! WE WILL TAKE YOU AND THE WHOLE PARTY DOWN IN FLAMES! A MILE HIGH CONFLAGRATION!!! NYAH-HAH-HAH!

fakemikel · 1 year ago

Check out following blog site about Steve and BlackBerry.

http://fakemikel.blogspot.com/

fakemikel · 1 year ago

Hi American dudes, if you never heard about me, I don't blame you. Rest assured you would get yourself a full blown slap right across your face if you don't know what BlackBerry is. Wait a minute, idiot, I am not talking about the little black fruits you buy from farmer's market. It is a mobile phone with intelligence. No wonder people call it smartphone. The best ever it allows you to send emails on the phone. Still doesn't ring a bell? You must have gone unemployed for at least 10 years now. Everyone who has a meaningful job these days has a BlackBerry or yearns for one. Just go to any retail store of Sprint, AT&T and Verizon and you will see a lineup of BlackBerrys. They make iPhone look like a giant retard. Can you keep a secret? Steve called me the other day and he's like, "dude, you are the only one that keeps me awake like 2 in the morning. Back off, this is America, you little canadians have occupied our emails for way too long. Even our idiot government agencies like FBI and CIA are sending emails through your operation center north of the border. I am like we don't have to tell Canadians how we screwed Saddam. " I told Steve to watch his tone then went "Steve, do you know Alexander Bell was from Canada? Your most proud invention, so-called iPhone, is just adding a little i in front of his invention, the five letter word that spells P-h-o-n-e. If you still don't believe me, look around your iPhone team. More than 60 percent of them are Canadians. Get it?" Steve was caught off guard by how well I know about iPhone. He is like "Mike, I know you are calling on your BlackBerry. The voice is like shit because BlackBerry is only good at emails. You know most BlackBerry users also carry iPhone because in the end of the day music rules." I went like "Steve, it is 2 in the morning. I know you are up for another night. Good luck with your 3G iPhone. So you know we've had 3G BlackBerry for at least 2 years now." Then I heard a big bang. Guess Steve threw his iPhone at the wall. One thing I didn't tell Steve. I've always liked iPhone because it feels like musterbation when you move your finger around the screen.

Now you know who I am. I am the man behind BlackBerry. My name is Mike Lazaridis. Wonder about the last name? It is greek.

also at fakemikel.blogspot.com

fake redneck · 1 year ago

u r such an untalented writer that i gave up reading after the first 3 sentences.

Fake Fitty-Cent · 1 year ago

Unfortunately, I was probably right. One of your "crackers" will put a bullet in your beloved mocha-tinted BO before this is all over.

james · 1 year ago

Dude,

This guy is the favorite of all Jihadis/Wahbbitst/islamists. Now what do they know that the argula eating crowd refuses to see like an ostrich.

Last time I checked the Saudis were firmly in charge of our State Department and most Ivy league campuses with their 100s of millions in "consulting fees". Not to mention the like of James Baker, Madeline Albright, Jimmy Carter . plus most beltway institutions.

But I am sure the Saudi occupation of Washington seems too complicated for you to connect the dots. But you have an enemy with limitless money, and an ambition to take over this country, and the world.

But I am sure thinking about this will give you a headache so feel free to live in an alternate reality. The fact is everybody from Buddhists, Africans, Hindus, Slavs, French... is having a problem with Jihadist irrespective of corrupt media on the Saudi Payroll(including CNN, FOX, WP, NYTimes)...

I am sure this is too much for your argula brain.

lastangelman · 1 year ago

What are doing, you're giving away the premise of Michael' Moore's follow up to Fahrenheit 911 ?

Fake Redneck · 1 year ago

I miss the old days when everything was a Jewish conspiracy. Oh, yeah, and when you could dress up in black-face and everybody thought it was a hoot.