DISQUS

edwinrogers · 1 year ago

"Is there a whim-inspired fool,
Owre fast for thought, owre hot for rule,
Owre blate to seek, owre proud to snool,
Let him draw near;
And owre this grassy heap sing dool,
And drap a tear."
Robert Burns. 1786.

GaryM · 1 year ago

Great to see you back. So can we unsubscribe from FSJ ? Where you afraid he was going to die on you and you'd have to fake-die too? LOL.

Antoine · 1 year ago

Doesn't work for me. I idolize Dear Leader (even fake Dear Leader), but Forbes journalists... bleh.

Weird, ain't it?

NCS · 1 year ago

Yeah, agreed 100%. Fake insights into Dear Leader's mind are entertaining. Why do I care about real insights into Dan Lyons mind?

Plus I read the two posts at RealDan and I found them to be RealStupid. Sorry Dan.

Farewell Fake Steve. You will be missed. :(

FBO · 1 year ago

Because they were probably insights into his own crazy mind.

- Barry

Fake Ralph Nader · 1 year ago

Dear Steve,

Please come back immediately! It's that Dan Lyons asshole (again)! Can you get Moshe and the boys on this right away? I want this frigtard waterboarded. You know, use all the techniques Apple taught the CIA down at GITMO. Make this asshole wish he was never born. Maybe this time he'll go away for good. Oh, one more thing: Nicoli? Not working for me. How about giving the keyboard to Monkeyboy? or Beastmaster? or Kevin Rose? You get the idea.

Namaste
Fake Ralph Nader

jonsterling · 1 year ago

Dammit, I hate this. Fake Steve was the best. Why did you have to end it? You suck.

Petey Esdie · 1 year ago

all right Dan, i'll bite. i enjoyed your sense of humor at FSJ so i'll subscribe to Real Dan and check it out for a while.

Mr. PoopyPants · 1 year ago

Dan - thanks for FSJ. Was a lot of laughs, mixed with enough tech analysis to make me sound smart when hanging out at the water cooler.

Namste.

topazz · 1 year ago

First time I've seen your picture, and now all the mystery is gone. You look like Bill Cullen from the Price is Right)

faddah · 1 year ago

yeah? well you look like several porn stars i won't name here ...

Redbones · 1 year ago

You rock, Dan. It's been a party hearing what goes on in your head, and I'm headed to the new blog now. Don't sweat the whiney mofos that want 2007 back...

The Realest · 1 year ago

Dear Real Dan,

People only like you when you write under the guise of "Fake Steve". Why change the formula?

Phranq · 1 year ago

Dan, did you ever really hook up with BHG? We who are desperately, vicariously living off you want ALL the juicy details. Please do tell.

FBO · 1 year ago

And iJustine, too.

- Barry

Sad · 1 year ago

I'm sad all the time now.

FSfanclubmember203928 · 1 year ago

Why, Steve, WHY do you choose to be some guy named 'Dan' from now on - and why do you even want to make us believe this guy is 'real' ?!?

Rich S. · 1 year ago

FSJ = funny & interesting
Real Dan = not so much
Sorry Dan, I just don't care.

SamG · 1 year ago

Dan, new blog will rock like the FSJ blog, no doubt. If you grace us, of course, with your signature posts. Or the ones where you put the phone down to check yourself out in the mirror. LOL. That one was above and beyond. I nearly destroyed my non-spill-proof laptop when I read that.

popeandrew1 · 1 year ago

You have so fucked up, dude.

We don't give a shit about Real Asshole Dan, it was FSJ we followed.

Bye, you sorry sack of shit. On to the next smart asshole who doesn't realise his time is only now ...

(It'll be a smarter, smoother, more consistent FSJ of course -- just not YOU!)

Marc · 1 year ago

Agree with everybody. We don't give a shit about real Dan Lyons blog.

TheAfterlifeOfGeorgeCarlin · 1 year ago

Lying scumbag asswipe broken kitchen appliances.
If any of you who say they didn't give a shit, didn't give give a shit, why'd you give a shit in the first place to say you didn't give shit. You know what - all of you phonies, you all are full of shit. And stupid. And completely fuckin' nuts.

Topazz is cool. She is alright.

I'm gonna' raid Carl Icahn's secret tax shelter in the Turks and Caicos Islands. I'm gonna' build a ranch house development on a Iowa flood plain - real cheap. Ain't that sumpin'?

truth · 1 year ago

wow...you people have too much time for hate.

Good for you, Dan, for being so funny and insightful that all these people learned to really want to tune in to hear the latest. If these pissers can't make the shift in their tiny brains to a new character, then that says more about them than you...

Tough business you're in, pal. I'll hold out hope that the new blog will end up as funny as this one was.

Joe_Blow · 1 year ago

Dear Steve, I mean, Dan. Like others, I'll miss Fake Steve. A lot. But every idea has its time and it was hard to see the exploitation of FSJ continuing to be funny ad infinitum. So - time to call it a day? That's OK and thanks for the memories. You have contributed a piece of history and changed blogging forever, in my eyes. Re Real Dan, it won't be the same but maybe it'll be good in other ways, so I'll give it a try. I'm not afraid of change. As they say in Tokyo, Namaste.

Bassem B. · 1 year ago

I'm definitely there. Rock on.

RS · 1 year ago

il check it out for a while... cos i love FSJ... you should have stuck with it.
please be as honest and in-your-face in the new blog.
thanks for all the laughs.

buildersent · 1 year ago

Why would I care what some douchebag magazine writer has to say? It's not like you went on to some big name rag but to a resting on our ass and former glory liberal mouthpiece.

Opus and Real Dan · 1 year ago

When Real Berkeley Breathed created Real Opus, the world cheered. Opus and his gang at Bloom County filled our lives with childlike wonder for many years.

Then, inexplicably, Real BB decided to end Bloom County, and created the Unreal world of Outland. We all looked once or twice, but no one cared.

Finally, Real BB returned to sanity, and returned Opus to Bloom County, where once again he happily resides.

We all look forward to the day when Real Dan follows Real BB in a return to sanity. Real BB returned Opus to the meadow. Real Dan needs to return FSJ to the blog.

Steve'sTumour · 1 year ago

I bought fake steve t-shirts.

I won't buy real Dan anything I'm afraid.

faithful reader · 1 year ago

Great blog. I'll be there to see the new stuff. For what it's worth, to the rest of you sour-pusses... WTF? Have you nothing better to do than to lament and berate a man for choosing his career path, or for neglecting your stubborn and emotional wishes. Seriously, I'm gonna have to get a barium enema to rid myself of the bad energy in these comments. Dan, the blog is great, the book (Options) is great, and I for one am confident that a man who made those will be able to offer me something in his blog, no matter the title or the theme. Thanks for the laughs, the insight, and for helping me kill time at work! See you in the Real world... (cheesy and not funny, I know)

steveballmer · 1 year ago

You have to be kidding!

At least the world still has Fake Steve Ballmer!

Fake Hooters Girl · 1 year ago

Good call real dan! No fun parodying a guy who may die of some unpronouncable disease in the near future.

BTW, time for me to "come" clean. My tits are fake, as are most of my coworker's. I will have my silicone removed and sent back to San Jose, to be recycled. I will miss U guys!

Blake C. · 1 year ago

If the level of commenter nutsackery a blog can evoke is any measure of success, then you are certainly quitting while you're ahead. Many thanks for the laughs here, and much luck with the future.

Uncle Tomtom · 1 year ago

You realize your in a different game now right!
You can't make the geographic jokes no more, nor will you laugh about people taking it to serious. Cause you are serious now, Realistic!

At least you can explain it to your audience that your still blogging, while you tell them about the good old days.

It must be odd to be you, being real and all...

gordonated · 1 year ago

This is sad.

tobto · 1 year ago

ok. I'll bookmark Real Dan, but also suggest to touch white sand somewhere on an island or by the sea

BSE · 1 year ago

不是吗？

Andrew · 1 year ago

Hi Dan. I think people really liked Fake Steve because it was—except on particularly gloomy days—devoid of pretensions and self-consciousness. It was discrete, impartial and incisive in its excess.

Blogging lends itself to the kind of stupid self-promotion you so ably ridiculed. The problem is that your new blog—the layout, the tone, etc.—makes a perfect candidate for a Fake Steve lampoon. Why go this way? Some things are more important than money.

tommy · 1 year ago

Shoulda just quietly pulled the plug. This puppy is dead. Delete the Bookmark. Turn off the lights. Get on with life.

Marlo · 1 year ago

Ive decided this is a 'Fawlty Towers'-type move and that youve wisely decided to quit while youre ahead. It's easier to come to terms with that way!

Namaste

Mike Cane · 1 year ago

Well, there's no black turtleneck still, but I at least give you points for not wearing a white shirt and damned tie!

JSG · 1 year ago

So when you say "I really was hoping to just take the summer off and relax".... are you saying that FSJ may return once summer is over?

Maybe?

Possibly?

Hopefully?

cgpandey · 1 year ago

you are working gr8 here. There is no need of new blog..

SJ Vaughan-Nichols@hacker.com · 1 year ago

And Just in time for Shark Week, too. How many sharks will you have to jump to please your new bosses?

I may be a cut and paste hack, but at least I have a spine and my dignity!

steveballmer · 1 year ago

Gimme a break!

http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com

I Am God Almighty · 1 year ago

THus endeth the blog.
Please see new entry here.

Fake Sergey Brin · 1 year ago

Fairwell Real Dan, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. I have enjoyed your articles and the occasional mention of the blog in talks between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Hopefully Real Dan is just as entertaining!

raphy · 1 year ago

Love to see you back on blogging!!!! do it soon bro

tommy · 1 year ago

Nope. Not buying it.

satya · 1 year ago

Thanks, we will check it out !!

Who ever controls technology,
controls world.
Roman emperors ruled the world because they built roads.
Britisher’s ------ built ships
Russians ------ built spaceships
Americans invented Atom bombs and Americans stills rules the world with Information technology.

Study the latest tech news and tips at http://mothertech.blogspot.com/</A>

faddah · 1 year ago

awwwwwwww yyyyyyeeeeeeah, you know how we do!

this is too wonderful. you bet i'll be there. with bells an' my snark on. i know i'm late to the game, but i'm still a majah playuh, soldjah boy!

see ya on da flip side, beeeeeyooootches!!!

Steve Jobs · 1 year ago

Dan you're a fag.

Bring back FSJ.

stockscope · 1 year ago

Good luck with your new blog...just doesn't have the magic touch for me.

You know it too.

tribeguy · 1 year ago

We don't want Real Dan, we want Fake Steve. Steve Jobs: A big reason why NOT to do ACID. TM

Jerry · 1 year ago

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wang tianyang · 1 year ago

It is my first time come here.I am a student,my English is not very well,so I cannot understand your article and views clearly.But I want to see you if you could come to china.I canot express my thoughts in English.I will work hard.
Could you give me some advice about my university life?
Best wishes

Marc · 1 year ago

"But I want to see you if you could come to china."

You're such a fucking idiot. LOL. Sure Dan Lyons is going to china to meet some random dude commented on his blog.

honey · 1 year ago

哈哈~你好啊fake先生。很高兴来到你的博客^^，不管你能否看得懂中文，但我还是想坚持用中文留言……仰慕您~祝您身体健康
我会常来您的博客哒~（^。^）

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Mobisop · 1 year ago

your new blog is awesome

Bloggerbot · 1 year ago

It's an end of an era

thejester · 1 year ago

Well what a lot of sour pusses, who think Dan owes them FSJ. Count your lucky stars you had him. He always belonged to the author, never you dumb-arses. I too will miss the column (and have done), but all things have their time and their end.

I'll certainly check your blog out, and I'll see if it's of interest to me.

Thanks for so much laughter, insight and intelligence. Good luck with your new endeavours.

agustina · 1 year ago

here's something for blogger
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oss · 1 year ago

First time I've seen your picture, and now all the mystery is gone. You look like Bill Cullen from the Price is Right.flv converter for macmac mp4 converter

Chris · 1 year ago

How come so many seemingly (otherwise) intelligent people fall into this trap of "whatever I do people will love and follow me" ??

Dan, you blew it. You had a good thing with much more creamy stuff to milk, and you killed it. Perhaps you have enough money to retire? In which case...peace out.

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Ah haaaa...
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ranjith · 1 year ago

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Gerrit · 1 year ago

Bye Fake Steve! We'll hang out a bit with DL because we feel sorry for him, a bit, just for sympathy sake, you know. Namaste.

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steveballmer · 1 year ago

Here I stand in the ruins ....

Clay · 1 year ago

An appropriate epitaph:
http://gawker.com/5042795/steve-jobss-obituary-...

Bloomberg accidentally publishes Steve Jobs' obituary.

Abhis · 1 year ago

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Peter Njenga · 1 year ago

Reading Fake Steve Jobs is far much better than Real Dan Lyons.

azra · 1 year ago

i recently saw your blog and its really too good.

kevin k · 1 year ago

Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same


"I figure it's only a matter of time before the right girl sees my ad," Nessie



Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same



San Francisco Ca. ­ Nessie, 35, recently joined online dating service Lavalife, placing an ad with the headline "Seeking Gorgeous, Hard-Bodied Female" although Nessie himself is an overweight, unappealing man.

"I'm looking for the finest things in life, and that extends to my love of women," reads the ad posted late Friday by Nessie, who weighs 290 pounds and works as an assistant manager at Hero's Realm, a local comic-book retailer. "If you have love handles, a paunch or a gut, I'm probably not the guy for you. Appearance means a great deal to me. If you don't have a healthy, attractive appearance, including FASHION SENSE, then how can I ask you to take care of me?"

Nessie posted the ad from his bachelor apartment while wearing a stained Green Lantern T-Shirt and track pants.

"Hey, can you blame me for wanting the best?" Nessie said while cleaning his ears with a pen from behind the Hero's Realm cash register. "The world is full of mediocre-looking women. Why shouldn't I want the best for myself? After all, it's not like I don't have a lot to offer."

Other than his $6.50-an-hour job, Nessie can also look forward to chauffeuring his new love around town in a 1986 Ford Escort that he dubs the Love Machine although he has never indulged in sexual activity in it with a partner.

Elsewhere in the ad, Nessie wrote, "I take care of myself, and I expect nothing different from my soul mate," although he has a bottle of medicated cream prescribed for a noticeable skin condition that he seems to use solely for masturbatory purposes.

Nessie expressed the most pride in the final line of his ad, which he said took him "hours" to compose: "Please, I can't stress this enough -- no fatties." He told the Probe that this embodies his philosophy perfectly. "Fat chicks are a real turnoff to me," he said through a mouthful of Mars bar. "You have to draw the line somewhere. Besides, I like the waif look."


"I figure it's only a matter of time before the right girl sees my ad," Nessie told coworkers.

respond to: nessie56@yahoo.com

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WhyLoO · 1 year ago

thanks very much

MixbaL · 1 year ago

Great to see you back

Qele · 1 year ago

thanks for FSJ.

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Fir · 1 year ago

thanks dan for fake steve. while it lasted, it was great. :D

JhEnglish · 1 year ago

Yup Fake Steve was the best. so i`ll subscribe too.Hope it won`t be a lot different though

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Jill Messer, Moultrie, Georgia 31768 - SSN, Credit Records, Arrest Records, Court Records, Criminal Records ..

steveballmer · 1 year ago

Who do you losers look to now?

http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com

Ramesh · 1 year ago

that was a bit funny and nince to laugh for some time
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Spookymulder · 1 year ago

Good to have you back...

Josh Levesque

MonsterJobs · 1 year ago

I love your Steve Jobs Blog, it always cracks me up. Check out my MonsterJob website if you get a chance. I find jobs for monsters. I can help you if you're scary enough, and we all know that Steve Jobs is scary enough.

mechelle · 1 year ago

hi fake steve and real dan!

Divya Jain · 1 year ago

Very good website. I liked it very much. Comments from http://www.valentineday.in

James · 1 year ago

Fake Steve Jobs meat Fake Side Jobs.

gg · 1 year ago

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nishant · 1 year ago

My hugs and kisses to all beautiful and attractive indian girls of good character

Ren · 1 year ago

Steve, Dan still cool.

Luciano · 1 year ago

The Best Blog !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Charlie · 1 year ago

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jobfactory · 1 year ago

Very nice blog you did excellent job

Animes · 1 year ago

I will bookmark this site and add real dan to my google feed reader.

Deepak · 1 year ago

My name is Deepak from India.I was an addict of alcohol for 14 years and my lives had became unmanageable and i was powerless over alcohol.After 14 years now i am sober and i have a blog.Called De-addiction for the people who want to be sober(free from addiction).I am just placing my link here .This links makes more to me.This is not a fake story.

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mastercom · 1 year ago

Nice blog Steve.

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Allen Loomis · 1 year ago

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anand · 1 year ago

so will not fake steve be exist any more ?

mack · 1 year ago

I m looking forward to next blog!

noir · 1 year ago

Can I continue the great legacy of impersonating Steve Job? It's my life's ambition!

James · 1 year ago

Funny blog. I just discovered it ! Continue like this

Debora · 1 year ago

Great blog, i like your style.

rate me, please... thanks · 1 year ago

very nice :)

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jolly · 1 year ago

above blog liks are very good.
Thanks for the link.

steveballmer · 1 year ago

Anyboy reading this needs to really go out and get a life!
My blog is a good place to start!

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sabiq · 1 year ago

nice blog..
very usefully information.. :D
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im abiq..
from indonesia.. :D

none · 1 year ago

ネットショップ 構築

Unique Chic Jewelry · 1 year ago

Aaaw... I'm sorry everyone is giving you a hard time. I'm sure they will all check it out anyway.

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Douglas · 12 months ago

hehe, you are funny

I will must put you on my blog!!

mastermind · 12 months ago

lolllll

the site is outrageous
check out this serious steve jobs video: http://malcolmred.co.uk/

kr · 11 months ago

Thank you very great full information

happy 2009 · 11 months ago

Just thought I'd note that it is 2009 now.

Good news Dan.

SJ survived longer as CEO at Apple than you did as... whatever.

Consider the possibility that just maybe Apple was telling the truth.

You really should go back to satire.

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Blogger Tutorial · 11 months ago

thanks dan for fake steve. while it lasted, it was great. :D

Rajasekhar aaendra · 10 months ago

Interesting!

Hizbur · 10 months ago

Oh, I now know

Jobs in Pakistan · 10 months ago

I read your blog it very interesting and will book mark it.

waeatgwe · 10 months ago

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frontierblog · 10 months ago

I cannot agree more, actually I wrote a similar post weeks ago

Edward

Frontier Blog - No one ahead, no one behind
http://www.hwswworld.com/wp

Seo Tips · 10 months ago

thanks for sharing.

ernest Minayev · 9 months ago

Lol Sucks for him. No really lol

Aparna · 9 months ago

Its really bad

Compaq Laptop Parts · 9 months ago

Hmmm.. I most definitely read a couple of articles about this topic and it brings me back down memory lane :)
The question that I ask myself is what caused something like this to happen or be written??

John S · 9 months ago

You are great Sir:)
Keep it stay tune....:D Good luck

aprilblogkiller · 9 months ago

 

Hosting · 8 months ago

All comments of this post are 8 months old. THINKING..........

jay stevens · 8 months ago

sounds good. good to have you here.
Jay Stevens
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blog seo tips · 8 months ago

Great to see you back.

lacy · 8 months ago

Oh cool...

hero · 8 months ago

Nice Info, brother
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Freelancer München · 7 months ago

Great to see you back...

baatar · 7 months ago

ulesson.blogspot.com This is very good

nix · 7 months ago

I want this frigtard waterboarded. You know, use all the techniques Apple taught the CIA down at GITMO. Make this asshole wish he was never born. Maybe this time he'll go away for good. Oh, one more thing: Nicoli? Not working for me. How about giving the keyboard to Monkeyboy? or Beastmaster? or Kevin Rose?
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Ares Vista · 7 months ago

Sicko ideas and strange photographs heard. I will go there now and bookmark the new blog. I just hope it can match up with Fake Steve!

jayakumari · 7 months ago

Nice to see your blog and 'n' number of members and most of the people were discussing about the webblog in commenting andnice to see the blog. Also I am learning about online business to do in part time at home thorugh jobs online.


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Al Gore · 6 months ago

Hi, I am the fake Al Gore and I just wanted to say that I love your site, and it's been an inspiration to me!! (i.e. I blatantly copy you.)

zaposlovanje · 6 months ago

Sounds good!! :)

u can check: http://www.borzadela.si/

Helzehen · 6 months ago

disappointment comes in many colors.. I liked Fake Steve.



http://www.anime-eater.com

Helzehen · 6 months ago

So disappointed in Fake Steve for becoming real Dan...

http://www.anime-eater.com

Stevie Dee · 6 months ago

We're missing you!!

http://www.stuffthatmakesmechuckle.com/